I was thinking the exact same thing when I read that post as well.

I would say that you can state that a certain type of "play" is abusive, but you must also state as to the reasons why you think it abusive.

For me to say something is along the lines of abuse, is exactly what you said

Quote Originally Posted by tessa View Post
It seems to me that to term something abusive would denote a lack of pleasure and consent for at least one of the participants.
If both parties agree to it, why or how could it be construed as abuse?
If you want to say that someone who wishes to put out cigarettes on another is bordering on extreme play and that people who wish to try need to know all of the implications of this type of play, then sure I'm all for it.

Now there are as lisais mine said people who will go above and beyond what is required of them.
To me that is just plain stupidity, if you want to do something that is sure to do you unwanted harm, emotionally or physically then I would have to ask why are you an idiot?
I have done questionable things, have attempted questionable things, but I always know the risks, and I am fully prepared to deal with the consequences. I won't go beyond what I know I can't do.

It's like verbal humiliation, I love it but others don't always understand how anyone can get off being verbally assaulted.
The words trash, worthless and whore are absolute favourites of mine, but I know that others cannot grasp why I enjoy them.
In turn I sometimes cannot understand how others would enjoy certain types of play, but I at least try.

It all comes down to each his own really, and as long as that is what YOU and the other person wants, as long as YOU know the implications of that type of play, and as long as YOU are completely fine with it, then I don't see it as being abuse.

We all do things that at times may damage something, be it scars on skin, becoming ill, or emotionally breaking, but that is up to the individual to take care of themselves and to know and be prepared for the risks involved.
What's fine for me may not be for you, and vice versa, but I won't lecture you on how it's gross, evil, nasty or wrong.