Confused?

[Aibo]

Lol, yeah. Like with everything else, talk and talk, and then more talk and openness and discussions with what she likes and you like. What her kinks/desires are.

Openness is the key to any relationship aswell as one with a BDSM touch. Perhaps even more so since the sub has to relay that much more on his/her Dominant.

[ Tjabba Logic & gott nött år. =) ]

Back to english now:

Yes you are absolutely right that communication is essential in this kind of relationship.
Now what do you do when the communication doesn't work?
I think thats the reason for the OP to post the question.

Let me give another example and you might see how this could happen.
My first girlfriend she was partly into bondage and partly into kidnap and rape scenarios.
Now that might sound all fine, but the problem is that when she was out of her role, she was a "nice girl" that absolutely refused to discuss such matters.
Yes she even was unable to talk about sex! Flat no-way-shake-the-head-talk-to-the-hand-refusal.

Then when in submissive mode she let absolutely everything go, and always took the backseat and me as the driver up front.
But when she slipped out of her submissiveness, she could go completely ballistic on what had happened to her if something had gone not to her expectaion - I was supposed to be psychic I guess.
And then she was back in her incommunicado ways of anything about sex.
(It might not be a surprise that she also holds the record for the gal I broken up with most times, that if I combine all the others together she's still on top)

So as you see, there are situations where you simply cant talk, due to personality and well not a flattering example for myself yet a true one.

Then last one extreme example, and one person I havent been involved with but who I happen to have met since she keep in touch with some of my BDSM friends.
This girl is living a bit north of you Logic and you can certainly say she's into BDSM for not quite the right reasons.
Yet it seem that's the only way she can get to experience certain things that is locked out from her mind on other times, she's autistic. And so I guess she on the surface might behave the way a Master would expect in play by not meeting his eyes etc. But due to her sickness, she wont either communicate her needs.
Now she had found a partner to live with, and after I met them I happened to mention that fact to my ex slavegirl. ....And I told her I never met any couple that were running such an obvious risk of killing each other than these two.

So communication is essential, but not always easy, sometimes impossible. If the latter is the case, let the common sense guide. All I can say.

Happy new year!