Talk, talk, talk and more talk is the key. It seems to me though that you perhaps arent Dominant enough with her. You dont want to force her or do things that she doesnt want. I am not telling you do do things she doesnt want but be open and talk with her and perhaps you should start the foreplay with tying her down?
With her having submissive fantasies that shouldnt cause a big problem I guess.

and @ cadence. It sure looks like WE arent a good match then since I sure arent a "wham bam thankyou man" kinda guy ^^. I love the long "plays"