If you haven't, it might be useful to read through this threads: Book By It's Cover, Training.

You are very young, and all you need is to take time to read and learn as much as you can and time to gain experience. It will come.

For some Doms it worked to "apprentice" as subs first, others chose alternative methods to learn and grow, as that was completely unacceptable to them.

Dont try, or feel, that you have to box yourself into one role or another, or buy into "caricature" of a certain role (ie. how a dom or sub should be or behave 24/7; being a dominant isn't about being domineering jerk ). I will let you in on a little secret, R/L bdsm relationship has very little to nothing in common with instant gratification of (romantic) bdsm fantasy.

Just like in vanilla relationship(s) you have to get to know each other, work on a relationship, often break up, and search for another person. For some people it takes longer than others, but everyone always finds a match, - you just have to be yourself, or any match you make will be fake.

Work on yourself, your confidence and courage to risk and go after what you want, but ultimately allow yourself the freedom to be who you are and trust your instinct (you know whats right for you).

You will get there. Enjoy the journey.

And welcome to the Library,

Adriana