You Down With OPP?

[Flaming_Redhead]

Um...I've seen you dance..."nothing different" ??? That's the understatement of the ages.

LMAO!

Seems now the man has the idea that it's okay to do it with you, maybe because you've been up close and personal with him a time or three at this point? But you don't want his attention in that way anymore, right? So tell him. Make it clear to him what your expectations are and follow through with meaning what you say. If he then crosses the line, it will be all on him, and you can nail his ass to the wall, all without missing a beat of that funky music.

Good point.

Hold up. In this thread, you are venting about not getting the respect you want. In that way you want to be taken seriously, right? Or have I misread you?

Have your fun. A girl's gotta have it, after all. What I hope you'll realize is that within your fun, other people are involved-people with their own feelings and ideas and responses. And because you aren't isolated in your fun, nor sure about if you want to be taken seriously or not, you will get responses you don't appreciate.

So, which is it? Serious about respect or no?

What I meant was that when I'm just out for shits and giggles, people take it seriously, but when I want to be taken seriously, I might as well be talking to the wall for all the good it does. I do tend to live in my own twisted little world and forget that what I do has any effect outside of it, though.

About the other places, if you honestly believe that your cute self bending over a pool table while stroking that big stick in and out of your hands doesn't ramp up the "sexually charged" atmosphere of a place filled with people loaded up on inhibition-crushing solutions, "blind denial" must be your newest hobby.

LMAO! Umm....denial isn't just a river in Egypt, apparently.

All that said, my point was missed. I was addressing the fact that maybe you're getting these unwanted responses because of the nature of the places you're going, not whether you have the right to be there. Yes, you have every right to go anywhere you want and do anything you want. However, there are consequences to be had from doing such. In this case, the consequences are those people you're bitching about not respecting you and your relationship. But guess what? They also have every right. That right is not yours alone to have.

As many years as I've been going out, I haven't noticed it being a problem before. I supposed I've lived a somewhat sheltered life in that regard since the only thing that has changed is the people I go out with, i.e. my friend from high school is a much better cock blocker than the current couple....but then again....they're swingers....so why would they be running interference? *lol*

This is not at all what I meant. In regards to what I said about doing what's right and true, I was referencing what your sister said to you about it not being VM's business what you do and where you go. You have to decide what is and isn't true for you, not your sister. As for my ideas about what should and shouldn't be done, fuck what society thinks about "proper". I don't hold store by such nonsense. I thought you knew that about me.

I'll say it again. Seek to find your truth and live it in a way that makes it all very clear to others. It may take time, but in doing so, you may garner the respect you seek. Figure out what will work best for you and your relationship. Now if that's playing pool at a bar full of inebriated, raging manly hormones and...umm, "dancing" with your friend in front of her husband, then have at it. Just don't expect to have those behaviors help your cause to gain respect.

There's the rub. My truth may not be the absolute truth, in which case I'm lying to myself. I have to admit I feel no great urge to sit at home and stew in my own juices, especially after I was told I needed to get a life. Well, I went out and got one, and if he doesn't like it....so be it....but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit around waiting for him to spend a weekend with me.

After questioning and giving this idea so much thought, now you're gonna indulge in a pity party?? What a cop out. You're capable of more and you know it!

Why can't you be you and expect respect? Why would you even allow yourself to have such an atrocious thought to begin with?? It's a real disservice you're heaping on yourself for even having that lame thought.

You want to know why you aren't getting the respect you want? Take a look at what you just said right up there and you'll have your crystal clear answer.

Try demanding respect from yourself first. You're very much worth the investment. Once you've gained it within, then you can seek and find it elsewhere.

Again, you're worth it.

Seriously.

*sigh* Yes, I was having a "moment." If you don't like that mood, wait 5 minutes and get back to me. *lol*

You can be stubborn or you can find your way to a better place. It's your choice. You sabotage yourself and don't seem to care how much you hurt yourself in the doing of it. Well, I do care, which is why I won't blow smoke just to make you feel better.

Well, I *am* a masochist. *snickers*

These behaviors account for more than just part of the fault. Over and over, you're teaching people how to deal with you. You aren't doing yourself any favors in the way you're going about it.

Yes, I realize that. *frowns*

It's not fair at all. You don't control yourself, so why are you expecting them to control themselves?

I have no idea. Maybe because from the age of 3 people are taught not to put their hands on someone else? *shrugs*

How about you get in control of yourself and stop expecting another to do it for you!

Hmm...that's interesting. I had almost this same thought occur to me this afternoon. Your brain just got there quicker. That's why I prefer thinking "out loud." The irony is that once I get in control *someone* will finally decide he wants to take it. Pppfffffttttt!

You are SO much more than you give yourself credit for. I'm angry at your continued refusal to give yourself even half a freaking chance.

Awwwwwww! You're so sweet! I love you, too.

[tessa]

Awwwwwww! You're so sweet! I love you, too.

And there goes the angry. ~super big boobie squish hug~

I know I went too far off the deep end. ~sighs~ I just need you to see that you really, really, really are worth it.