You Down With OPP?

[Flaming_Redhead]

You didn't respect your own boundaries. Why did you expect him to?

That's a good question and one not easily answered. I had every intention of playing by the rules, but the fact of the matter is that I let myself be pressured into doing something I knew was "wrong." It looks like old habits die hard. At least I didn't let it go "too far," although that's not entirely true because crossing any line is too far.

So is it fine for him to rub up against you while you dance in a sexually explicit nature with his wife, just so long as he doesn't get a hard-on?

And yet you wonder why he's not "down with OPP"?

Um...we were dancing...which is nothing different and nothing new. He's never done that....

Why? You've repeatedly put yourself in the position of being seen by them in this "wild and crazy girl" light. In another thread, you said that pole dancing is "exactly like something" you could imagine doing. Why are you expecting them to view you differently when you aren't doing so for yourself?

*sigh* The problem, I guess, is that this girl justs wants to have fun, but people keep taking her seriously.

Try seeing it from their perspective. You've played with them on more than one occasion now. You hang out with them in sexually-rich environments. You present yourself to them as a sexually adventurous being. They need time to un-learn what you've taught them previously. You've just started re-teaching them about you. Be consistent with them in what you want them to now know of you, and give them some time to adjust. It's not easy to just all of the sudden change your thoughts and ideas and beliefs, especially if one is receiving mixed messages.

I know I haven't exactly been consistent, and that's because life isn't consistent. I went from not being allowed to play, to being allowed on a limited basis, to not being allowed. Try to keep up people!!! *lol* I say that, but I can't even keep up with myself.

Your environment is a bar or a BDSM play dungeon or a BDSM hook-up site, where sexual inhibitions go right out the window upon approaching such places, you're there for all intents and purposes without "your man", and you're surprised that others view you in a sexual light?? You, darling woman, are not that naive. Besides, looking for respect in a bar, et all, is like looking for peace in the Middle East...it ain't so easily found.

No, I'm not that naive, but I am hard-headed enough to believe that I have every right to go where I want to go, with or without an escort, because this is not the Middle Ages. In all actuality, the most "sexually charged" place I frequent is also the safest and most respectful. I could run around stark naked and not be touched.

Find and do what feels right and true and respectful for you, and others will follow your example. (And not going unattended to bars might help, too. Just a thought.)

On the one hand, you're telling me to do what feels right to me, but in the very same breath, you're telling me to do what society thinks proper young ladies should do. I know you can't have your cake and eat it, too. I can't be me and expect respect, but at least I'm having a damn good time! Mostly....