I'm so sorry that it's all so hard for you right now skp2bear and that I was away from my computer and unable to post for the last couple of weeks. I've been away with my family, burying a close family member too.

Nothing can take away from the emptiness that you feel, but that doesn't mean that other people don't care for you, even when your grief makes you feel that there is nobody there for you.

Our funeral was last week and I didn't actually feel 'bereft' until a couple of days after the funeral as I was holding myself together to present the eulogy and be the strong one in the family for making sure that all of the practical things were taken care of like they should be. At least I had help in presenting the ceremony itself- I don't think that I could have got all the way through that without breaking down.

You can't grieve to schedule- take all the time that you need to work it through, but through it all remember that your mother loved you and would never have wished for you to be unhappy or to spend time not making the most of your life because of her. That's one reason that my whole family have gone to all of the social events in our calendars. Our loved one was fiercely proud of his family and would have been furious with us if he ever found out that we'd missed out on a potentially good experience because of him- that makes it a little easier to aim for happiness, even if we can't find it right now.

When I am able to be happy I'll do something lovely in his name and that will be the most appropriate way to mark his life. He was never happier than with his family doing great things together.