I understand your concerns as I remember how it was, when I started out as a Dom... A couple of decades ago. Long before PC's and internet.
You'll have to sort of reverse your thinking. Because as long as she likes what you're doing towards her. Spanking, maybe whipping etc. You don't harm or hurt her. As you're doing something to her, that she actually likes. Some subs are so much into pain that they actually can get orgasms from the pain.
But you'll of course progress in a way that you both can accept and live with. I wish the both of you the best of luck on your journey into this world.