As for question number one I believe AdrianaAurora has allready answered that as well as anyone could.

As for question number two:

Comunication with your submissive is key. Dom/sub is a two way street, and a feedback dialoge is essential.

My owner is fond of saying that his best teachers in the "art of dominion" as he calls it were allways the individual submissives themselves.

The more you know what she wants feels knows etc etc, then the better you can be with her.

Talking to her is vital.