My guess would be that it's not possible to home-make a SAFE tranquilizer/anaesthetic. One reason cholofrorm (and ether) have been phased out is that they can cause people to vomit in their sleep (with predictably disasterous consequences).

It's not at all what you're looking for, but have you considered using an over-the-counter sleeping pill to make your partner drowsy? Depending on what you plan to do, a sleepy/half-asleep/sleeping partner can be fun to work with, but it does require consent, patience and a soft touch (at least until you have her restrained --heh, heh!). Probably doesn't fit your requirements, though. Sorry.

By the way, the first medical use of chloroform took place at Madison Barracks, just ten miles due west of where I'm typing, in 1845.