Sir G's Musings

[Wedjat]

Oh! I forgot to wish you a belated Happy Birthday! 39, wasn't it? : )

[Sir_G]

You are indeed a good woman 39 will do nicely thanks. Actually I crunched some numbers the other day and I figured that 49 = 4 + 9 = 13 and 1 + 3 = 4 so with some creative accounting I've reduced my age to 4.

Now I know there are a lot of ladies out there who say men never grow up and I tend to agree with them. In my instance I have perpetually felt around the 16 - 18 mark. I can remember growing up and being terrified of the prospect of being without my parents. The terror of having to make decisions for myself was overwhelming at times. But I reached 19 and couldn't wait to move out. Got married at 21 for the first time and joined the Army at 27.

I've now separated from my second wife and still feel just as terrified about making it on my own. Funny how the worm turns. I did have a win yesterday though.

I was out doing the garden in my new house that had gotten a little over grown. I exposed the water meter to allow the meter readers to find it easily and cut back various shrubs and and Rosemary plants that resembled triffids. And yesterday as I was throwing garden rubbish in the skip (a Large 3 -4 cubic metre bin) I heard the water meter ticking away madly. I had also noticed a small puddle in the garden that was growing larger by the moment. I checked it out and found the main pipe to the house had a crack in it and a small gum tree was the problem. Some rocket scientist had planted it right on top of the mains pipe (a 20mm PVC pipe) and the roots had twisted it and cracked the pipe.

My brain went into calamity mode, my heart sank and I rang a plumber to see what it would cost to get him out. He of course talked up the problem saying it would be very costly and he would have to re-route the pipe blah blah. I had visions of this plumbing bandit standing in my front yard ready to charge me a minimum of a $1000.00 and was stung into action.

I thought f*** you and grabbed my old army entrenching tool and set to work exposing the pipe and cutting tree roots. Thankfully the tree was young so it was just a matter of cutting the main roots and freeing the pipe. I bolted down to my local hardare store Bunnings and purchased a $5.00 join and installed that. Problem fixed. The hardest part was digging out the tree. So what seemed like a disaster was turned into victory and only cost me my time, effort, petrol and $5.00 for the pipe join.

My back is killing me (pinched nerve roots in my L5) but the sense of satisfaction at tackling what seemed to be an insurmountable problem is worth it. Now if some one wants to come over and help me chop up that bloody tree please feel free. LOL.

I hope if you take the time to read this you will not only get a laugh but realise like I did that if you tackle a problem head on and face your demons you win all round. Have a great day!

[butterflySlave4u]

It's true, Sir_G, a little time, and a little perspective work wonders!!! Karen.....PS - Do you do windows?

[Sir_G]

I replied to the post the other day butterfly and it went along the lines of "XP" or "Windows 2000". Does'nt sound quite as funny now as it did then. Never mind.

Had a great day and will post pictures of my adventures and perhaps some more musings.

[Wedjat]

Good for you, Sir G! Glad that turned out for you. I know that as a single mom with not a lot of income, I've discovered more talents than I had realized I had, sort of along those lines. I've replaced the innards of two (2!) toilet tanks, and the wax ring on one, a few washers here and there, and a leak in the roof. It does feel good to figure that kind of thing out, fix them for a handful of dollars, and NOT have to pay a plumber! VERY good feeling there!

Oh, and hopefully you can wish me happy 39th (54 going on 12) in June! Take care and good luck to you.

[nighttimestar]

Those of you that know me know I have had a few small upheavals in my life of late. Go to non erotic poetry to witness my misery in all it's rhyming glory. For those who don't know me and don't care, I'll bring you up to speed. I have recently seperated from my wife, bought a new house and started again, been told by two neuro surgeons there is nothing they can do to alleviate the pain in my low back, aquired a kitten *shakes head* and generally felt like my life is in the toilet.

So nothing too major going on there. Today while I was listening to the million or so voices in my head - some accusing, some guilt ridden, some nice, some not so. I think you get the picture. I realised that I am happiest of late when I am writing and expressing myself. Perhaps happy is not a good description because there have been times when I have had way too many tears happening to even see the screen and felt destitute and abandoned by all who profess to love me.

When you are going through what I have been you tend to try to find all sorts of ways to find some kind of meaning and purpose in and for your life. And today it struck me that I have several things that I use to remind me that there are people out there that I love and who love me. Which brings me to the symbols I use in my everyday life to do that. Two I am wearing as I type this. The first is a watch I was given this Christmas past by my two sons. It's a Rip Curl Surfers watch, water proof to 200 metres and has more sentimental value to me because it was given to me albeit unceremoniously by my two boys Scott and Mike. The second is a beanie that Mike won along with a lot of other prizes when he won a surfing contest about 3 weeks ago and that I pinched off him claiming because I had paid the entry fee I was entitled to a share of the booty.

He was somewhat disgruntled at my mercenary approach to "his" prizes but grudgingly went along with it saying we would be co-owners of said beanie. Ha! Posession is nine tenths of the law kiddo.

There is a third that I wear often but just had a shower and had taken it off to dry my fingers and it is a Celtic Cross ring. My wedding ring in actual fact. These three things remind me that there are my two sons that love me and they will always be flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone. The ring reminds me that there was a love I shared with a woman that I still love today as much as I did when I met her and that tells me there may be another out there for me or maybe not. I used to scoff at the saying "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." But now I know its meaning in spades and understand some of the crystal clear moments of understanding that go with that when you have revelations concerning any statement of truth. I'm not saying that is tue for you but is definitely true in my situation.

I'm trying to think of other things I use to symbolise other things in my life but at the moment I can't because my focus is on what I have been writing. And this seems so important to me at the moment. I know I will walk away from the computer when I am finished and be able to think of hundreds more of symbols I have in my life but they pale into insignificance at the moment. And at the end of the day you can only live in the moment to be truly happy.

I can remember thinking I will be happy when I get this or aquire that. A house and land is what is important. Having a Harley is paramount to my staus as a biker. Only if I could have these golf clubs can I truly play to my ability. Well, houses are money pits, harleys rust and tarnish, golf clubs gather dust and they all add up to nothing in comparison to the ones you love. They are there to distract us from our true purpose in life and that is to...

I know what my purpose is do you?

Wow what a deep and honest post.

To me symbolism seems to be apart of our lives weather we care to notice it or not. I have always sought anwsers to questions that I couldn't or didn't want to acknowledge the answer. Most recently...I was driving home asking god to just give me a sign if I was going to be transferred(job). Just as I had finished asking the car infront of me slammed on their breaks. I took that as I am not going to be transferred. I was mad, depressed and angry that I didn't get the answer I wanted or felt like I deserved.

We are all on earth intrically weaved together by forces greater then us. We guide, provoke thought, interest and help each other weather we want to believe it or not.

I believe my purpose in life is be able to find confortable limits to live in balance. To inspire, encourage people, and create a sense of peace to those who are restless. My purpose is also not to be afraid to truely show people who I really am

Thank you for this deep and thought provoking post

[Sir_G]

And thanks for your honesty and sincerity in your reply nightimestar. I figure if I can touch at least one person in a positive and helpful way my life has meant something. And I have done some good. In this day and age we get so wrapped up in distractions it's easy to take our eyes off the ball and as Qui Gon said to Aniken in Star Wars "Remember Aniken our focus determines our realities".

A lot of people see that as pure cosmic bull shit but the wise know what it truly means and I am focused on creating the best reality I can for me and those around me, family first, friends, neighbours, strangers and the internet community, followed by the world at large. One person can make a difference and I've decided if I don't start I never will and that would be a tradgedy.

[Sir_G]

I had a great weekend this weekend spending it with my son, connecting with him again in a deeper sense than we ever have before. We went surfing up the coast at a place called Lancelin where he first got bitten by the surfing bug about four years ago.

He told me it was his best surf todate and I even managed to get out there despite my back pain and get a few waves myself. Life is about making choices and then living with the consequences I chose to surf and live with the pain and the reward and great time I had with my boy more than compensated for it.

Today I bought a puppy see the attached photos and smile because I am from the inside out.

[Sir_G]

*Pokes a moderator to approve the photos* LOL.

[Alex Bragi]

*Pokes a moderator to approve the photos* LOL.

*gg* Done.

Great photos too, Sir G!

And, good luck for the future.

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

It does my heart good to hear of your ongoing daily successes SirG. When you spoke of the fear of being alone, it struck a chord. I truly cannot remember a time since i was very young that i have been on my own. However, i wake up now and find myself excited to face the day. For the first time in probably my whole life, i am taking the time to know me. My house if currently *under construction* as i call it, and i take a room a day and transform it into something that makes my heart sinig to see. It truly is a wonderful journey. I am changing careers, because although my current career is stable and i make decent money, i absolutely dread going into work every day and i refuse to live that way any longer.

It is wonderful that you are getting time to spend with your children because they do grow so quickly and i have found just how very much they have changed on my right under my own nose. They are LOVING the *new* Mom as they lovingly phrase it and tell me that they are behind me 100%. It's lovely to know that i will always have my own personal fan club behind me.

As for the puppy, i can't wait to see the pictures. I have three of my own and they provide unconditional love and acceptance. When i feel lonely or down, they make wonderful cuddlers and don't feel the need to have everything explained to them *grins*. And it is amazing how they are able to sense their owner's moods. My dogs never fail to notice when i'm not feeling well and they always seem to lurk closer or even come up and nudge me as if to say "Do you need me now?" And never mind the reception that i receive when i come home after being gone for more than five minutes *eyeroll*. Truly a joy in my life.

Change is never easy, and sometimes the pain is overwhelming, but i try to keep reminding myself that when one door closes, another is opened. I try to remind myself every morning that today is the beginning of the rest of my adventure. The people that i've met here in the forums have been a big help and often provide laughter when i'm unable to find anything to laugh about on that particular day. There is also a wonderful amount of good advice and best wishes. Wouldn't it be lovely to have such honest, helpful, and caring people to surround us in every day real life? Some of the closest friends i have ever made have been initiated in an online setting. So there is always hope that you will run into someone at some point and time when you are ready that compliments what you are looking for in your life.

Again, I wish you the best Sir G, a happy belated birthday, and an exciting day in YOUR new adventure. Good luck with housetraining the puppy by the way.......LOL

tyd

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

LMAO........oh i LOVE the kitten attacking the puppy!!! Those two shall be great friends and true sources of continued laughter for you SirG...*shaking my head and grinning*

[Sir_G]

You are so right tyd. I was awoken at 6.30 am by kitten and pup. Took pup outside to do her business she did right in front of the cat flap (door) and proceeded to walk it into the paving and such an aromatic smell. Cleaning it up is such fun when you are still trying to wake up, not get pissed off at her cause she's only a pup and walking into walls while you are still waking up and not even had a coffee!

Don the kitten loves laying in ambush for her (Margo) and they are great pals already and the source of much laughter and joy.

I too am transforming my house. I set up a temple meditation room yesterday and am looking forward to painting it and finishing it off over the coming week or so. I am a pagan and for me my spirituality is central to me living a balanced and healthy life on all levels of being.

You may have seen my vent in the vent thread about you guys in the states being so far away and yes I wish like you I was surrounded in real life by the people on these forums. Ahh for a perfect world. Make me king of the world and I'll make it happen. LOL.

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

*preparing a petition to make SirG the King of the World* be careful what you ask for Sir!! lmaooooo

And bless you with Margo, i remember those days well!!! NOTHING should be allowed to be done before the all important first cup of coffee. LOL I think my dogs are now trained to not even look at 'mommy' until she's got her cup in her hand!!! Content yourself in knowing that this too shall pass. *chuckles*

[lily27]

If the pup didn't wake you up until 6:30, consider yourself lucky! Ours would have to go out two or three times a night for the first couple of months. And for the first little bit he couldn't figure out stairs (he isn't the brightest boy) so I had to go too and carry him down the back steps. Now that he weighs 85 pounds, it is a good thing he has managed that tricky task on his own.

Even at 10 months old, he doesn't let me sleep much past 7am.

[jeanne]

If the pup didn't wake you up until 6:30, consider yourself lucky! Ours would have to go out two or three times a night for the first couple of months. And for the first little bit he couldn't figure out stairs (he isn't the brightest boy) so I had to go too and carry him down the back steps. Now that he weighs 85 pounds, it is a good thing he has managed that tricky task on his own.

Even at 10 months old, he doesn't let me sleep much past 7am.

It's good training for when the baby comes, lily! Now you know you can survive being woken up several times a night.

[Sir_G]

More musings. It struck me last night that when people take time to read and reply to your posts what a gift it is to both people. Of all the hours we spend in a day doing what ever it is we do, when we take the time to communicate our feelings in some kind of meaningful way with someone, both are touched even though seperated by half a world in distance and it's as if we are talking face to face.

The effects can be positive or negative depending on the way we filter and process the information dpending on where we are at in our minds and our emotional state. I know on a personal level I enjoy reading all replies and comments on my profile page and to my posts. Any negative comments on my posts I try to take on board what the person has said, some I just smile at, some make me laugh out loud. Some just make me plain cranky.

Communication is the way we learn and grow. Two weeks ago I was ready to lay down and die. Now Because people here and around me in my life have listened and supported me I feel like I could live forever. Never underestimate the power of your words they may be the ones that make a difference in someones life. Even hitting the thank you button when you find a post interesting makes a difference. That's what I want to achieve everyday - to make a difference in someones life.

There will always be cynics and people may view this post as another optimistic glass is half full load of wank. But I challenge those people to take responsibility for their life choices, and remember there will always be greater and lesser people than yourself and if you look hard enough you will see that the world is still a beautiful place amidst the wars, famines, apocalyptic predictions, death and I could go on ad nauseum. It all starts with us as individuals and as I've said above one person can make a difference.

So take up the challenge, tell someone you love them, help someone carry a heavy load, open a door for someone and watch them smile and forgive someone that has hurt you. And feel that warm glow grow inside...

No keyboards were harmed in the typing of this post.

[Logic1]

Well SirG. That was one heartfelt post and other clever things written in this thread.
I wish you a fasttrack back to living life to the fullest. Dont dwell too long on things gone cause it will just eat you up. I know it will be hard but it gets easier and spending time with your son and friends will make it so much easier.


kudos to you man!
Big manly pat on the back and stay strong!

[suchaminx]

Sir G - an incredible post

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

Most certainly is minxy.....most certainly is. And i agree that people do not understand the power of words, positive or negative. Just as your words can brighten someone's day or lift their spirits, a careless or cruel remark can also have lasting effects. If everyone would take the time to think before they speak, wouldn't this world be such a better place?

Sir G, i truly do enjoy reading your posts. Thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts and feelings with the rest of us.

[Wedjat]

The critters really do make things better, if a little hairier (literally!) THe kitten is the spitting image of a favorite kitty friend from my youth, named Evinrude. He'd follow me outside to lay in the sun when I was in a 17 yo sunbathing mode (i.e. before the link to melanoma from too much sunbathing was discovered), and the little critter would lie next to me and pant. Cute when a cat does that - never had another one that did, although haven't done much sunbathing since either. I now have 4 cats and 3 small doggies.

Glad to hear you're feeling more up, and if I ever get down undah I'll make sure to look you up - don't hold your breath though, since I'm looking for a job now! Take care

[Whisperz]

omg, lollll...i have been sitting here, enjoying your many ponderings, and laughing my ass off, hehe...

i too know what it is like to go thru divorce, and it feels like you are missing half of your heart, literally sometimes.

i know these are older posts, but i was poking around (i am a newbie) and checking things out when i came across your profile and posts here. just wanted to take the time to say that i really enjoy reading you, lol! i love your sense of humor and there are moments that your musing remind me of some of my own conundrums and thoughts.

hugs to you, and best wishes that you are finding the strength and joy you need to move on in life and begin finding your new path in life.

Whisperz