delia has a good point, it takes work to find partners. Whether vanilla or lifestyle, you get out of it what you put into it.

It's like the concept of 'you get what you pay for.' If you're cheap on words and time, you get wannabes, teases, and the fearful. If you're generous with your words and time, the quality people will become interested in meeting you and thereafter, the proof is in the pudding. If you are what you appear to be, you will have some amazing people.