Ok, here some babble of my work on it. Ignore if you don't care about my train of thought

The mosquito-perspective idea was crazy but I am surprised at how well it is taken in. Might be interesting but also hard to talk with. The assumption would have to be the insect has human sight and knows a vocabulary as well as the human anatomy. Maybe some other time

The guy in the shop needs some 'flesh'. Added some about him, his motivation is reading his magazine, otherwise he is bored.

Painted the whip a bit more in detail, pulled a couple of stray bits about it together.

He asked her if its fair, she says yes. Then he asks what she thinks and she says again its fair, not good. Removing that second respond fixes it.

Many small fixes in the structures. Too many words in some sentences, too much run on.

Done with pejanon's input, story is now 1780 words, original was 1681. Why do they always grow so easy when I revise them?

Reading clevernick's critique always makes me feel a bit inadequate for this kind of work. It's overwhelming, but in a good way. Just reading the links he gave me have improved the general writing I am doing already, my editors for my day job writing have commented on it even. It's almost embarrassing that I've been getting paid to write in English.

Shortened the beginning. It reads a lot better all of a sudden.

To apply more of this, I would need to completely trash most of what I wrote. I went through and liberated some parts, ripped paragraphs apart and removed some ugly bits, rewriting others.

It reads smoother and more solid, connected, now.

The "no mess" bit is gone, since I did not explore it and have no intention to at this point, it's deleted.

1743 words now. Time to post it.

My submissive hates the whip I own. I can't blame her; it's a very cheap one. She complains that it cuts her skin even when I whip her lightly. The strands look like they have been cut by a machine from a solid piece of leather. Each one has sharp edges and is so light that she says they don't hurt very much even if I whip her hard. Can't have that now, can I?

So we set off to buy something better. Since it will be used on her, I let her pick it out. That is only fair I think.

The shop is one of those classic sleazy ones. Whoever opened most of them just wanted the privacy and darkness, so they all have the same appeal of a wet hole in the wall. As long as they had what I wanted, that did not bother me, but it still bothered her.

One young guy, looking like a piercer had used him for some experiments on one side of his head, stood behind the counter. He leafed through a thin magazine which looked like he had read it about a thousand times already. Clearly he was bored out of his skull but us passing by was only worth a bored flick of his eyes before they were riveted to his magazine again.

"Please let's order it online", she pleaded.

"No. The one we have is from an online shop and look how bad it is. I want to try it before I buy another one."

That shut her up. She did not think I would try it on her right there in the store, now she would be convinced of it.

Most stores of this nature are small; it's just not a big box business. In this case it was shaped with one section going further into the back and the darker areas. Fortunately that was where the whips were hanging on pegs.

I grabbed one, especially vicious looking and saw her tremble in fear.

"Do you have something to say, slut?"

Now she knew what she was in for. Slowly and carefully she knelt down. She was nervous but she knew better than to forget her training.

"I beg you; please select another whip, master."

Her head hung low, her face was flushed. She tried hard not to look at the nasty single-tailed whip, and I knew why; this one would hurt like hell.

Besides, I wasn't confident I could wield it with the skill needed to not hurt her too bad.

Slowly I put it back and picked up another one. This one had medium long strands, each one separately braided. The whole whip looked like it was made of one large braid, the strands coming out of the handle in a smooth transition. If I put it on my belt by the loop at its handle, it would not reach the floor. Each stroke with it would be deliberate, precise and painful. Its weight felt good in my hand. Where my old whip felt like it was made some kid worker in twenty seconds, this one felt like a master workman had spent a few days on it at least.

The price tag was steep but the whip was just too good to pass up.

I held the strong whip handle down to her lips. She looked at it, still fearful. I would leave the choice to her, at least for the instrument of her torture. The application of it would be entirely up to me.

She bent forward and kissed its handle. The choice was made.

Having not received a good whipping in a while, she was craving it by now. The other whip just did not cut it and would be disposed off once we were home. Never get rid of your old whip until you have a new one was my motto. With no whip handy, she might think I would not whip her at all.

"Get up," I commanded her and she followed me to the counter.

"I'd like to test this whip here on my slut; do you have a quite place where I could see if it works for me?"

I had her find the place we would buy the whip at. So we already knew there was a room in the back where they showed some larger equipment.

She looked nervously from me to the guy behind the counter. He glanced up from his magazine, slightly annoyed at the interruption.

"Just through the curtain there we got some furniture on display."

"Thanks."

His eyes went back to the magazine.

The room was nothing special. It looked like an oversized changing room. The furniture only consisted of a rack, a St. Andrews cross and two benches. Enough room to swing a whip though.

"Kneel over the bench here, pull your skirt up, your panties down and spread your legs. Wider."

She obediently did as told. Small corrections on her behavior always turned her on even more.

With care I ran my fingers over her smooth butt. I have never been an ass man, but I can see the attraction to that smooth round surface. The softness of a woman's behind has a certain attraction but it also makes a formidable target for all sorts of games.

"Fold your fingers behind your neck, slut."

"Yes master."

Her breathing became heavier; she was dreading and enjoying this just as I did. The little rush her submission gave me, the promise of the whipping to come.

Her twitching and moaning to the dance of the leather on her well shaped globes was creating quite a stir between my legs. I had to adjust myself a little before I could continue.

"Do you think it was fair of me to let you chose what you will be whipped with in the future?"

"Yes Master, that was very kind of you."

"You selected the implement. I chose when and how to use it on you. "

Talking about it made her butt wriggle a little. She was not conscious of it, I knew, but she still did it when she got really aroused.

I decided that it's time to fan the flames.

The whip handled great. It swung through the air nicely and made a distinct sound. It sounded strong and painful, not weak and puny like the old one. Swinging it a few times in the air, to feel its weight, I noticed a mosquito had snuck through the curtain. It found a nice resting place right on my submissive ass. There were a few outside but it was the first I had seen in the store.

With a flick of my wrist I swung the strands and hit her right across her cheeks, squishing the mosquito in the process. I flicked it off and continued to apply the whip liberally, if not as hard as the first time.

"Which whip hurts more, slut, this one or the old?"

"This one hurts a lot more master if you hit me hard. But it also hurts a lot less when you brush my skin softly with it."

"So you prefer this one I presume?"

"I prefer whatever brings you the most pleasure in using on me master."

I smiled. She was learning how to speak as a good submissive rather quickly. Some don't like this sort of behavior, for me this was a large turn on. It was for her as well. I could smell her sex in the small room.

"You are very wet, slut. You seem to enjoy the whipping a lot."

She blushed again deeply.

I enjoyed watching her when I whipped her but even more after, when she reacted to it.

I could see she liked the whip too, although she was scared of it how much it could possibly hurt her.

"Yes master."

"Would you like to cum slut?"

"Yes master, please let your slut come for you."

I sat on the bench beside her and lightly brushed her swollen pussy with my finger tips. I had hit her a couple times right on it and some red marks were visible. Whenever she got really excited it would swell up a bit like now, pushing her over the edge was easy and very amusing.

She kept her position; she knew not to break it without my command.

Finding her clit was easy. It was hard and engorged. It wanted to be touched and I obliged.

Moans escaped her throat, from deep inside her. She curled her toes up and towards each other. A light shake crept over her body as I kept stroking her clit. My fingers stroked her pussy again before returning to her sensitive spot. She would reach her climax very soon.

"You have permission to cum for me, slut."

"Thank you master," she breathed heavily.

A small pinch on her clit pushed her over the edge, and she came with a deep moan, her thighs shaking. Her fingers dug into each other, muscles pumping and her pussy was pulsing against my hand.

It was a wonderful sight that I tried to enjoy as often as I could.

Not giving her much time to recover, I pulled her back making her kneel on the hard linoleum floor.

"Open your mouth, slut."

Quickly she opened her mouth wide, sticking her tongue out. It did not take me long to free my hard-on from my pants and push it into her mouth. She licked expertly along its sides. She paid some special attention to licking along the vein on the underside of it, which she knew would drive me wild. I kept back, and she sucked on the tip of my cock, like her life depended on it.

My slut is a very greedy cocksucker. And she is also an expert at it. I could not keep back any longer. Grabbing her hair I started fucking her face. She kept her fingers behind her neck, even while she was gagging. Her tongue was flicking fast over my member, while I used her mouth for my pleasure. She enjoyed this part almost as much as when I used her other holes.

With a few more thrusts, I released myself into her mouth, while she kept bobbing her head on my cock.

Greedily she licked every bit of sperm from my cock.

"I think we found the perfect whip for you, slut."

"Yes Master."