Hi everyone,

I wonder whether you can help me with something that's been spinning in my mind for a while. Last night I was discussing BDSM likes and dislikes with a friend and we both found it surprisingly hard to come up with a list that was free of any "it's hot because I know it pleases my Dom/me" issue. It's not a big thing really, unless your Dom asks you about what you like or what might be a struggle...and you're stuck for answers.

I remember being asked what I would absolutely refuse to do and that was fairly easy, telling me that my hard limits are somewhat more salient for me. The same goes for things that get me hot instantly, they just spring to mind and the only hesitation there would be to talk about it.

What I'm aiming at with my question is NOT those hard limits/definite kinks, but more the soft limits or the grey area between those and the hotties. Whenever I get questions about those, I just don't know what to say. Yes, some of those activities do get me aroused, but is it because I like it or because I know it pleases my Dom, gets him hot? Does it matter at all? *giggles* Or am I just making something out of nothing? lol

Does anyone have similar difficulties? Have you found a way of probing your heart more effectively? Does it even matter to you? Am I thinking too much?

Any thoughts are welcome.