hi ... i think that perhaps if you were to observe to see if she displays submissive behaviour unintentionally eg ... likes to be on her knees when giving blowjobs, or her favourite positions ... then she would be open to communication about it ... speaking personally the term bdsm scared the hell out of me ... until i realized that i didnt have to crave being whipped to be submissive ... start with verbal commands and she how she responds to them ... play a little and then have that conversation and encourage her to learn as much as possible about it. i hope this made a bit of sense =) good luck