Quote Originally Posted by bunkerchief
My biggest disappointment with the BDSM life style is how tame and polite it is. I think one of the problems is the over intellectualisation of what is basically an instinctive and intuitive act.
Tame and polite are not synonyms. I'm a very polite man most of the time, but I've never been accused of being tame. I think you want the fantasy of BDSM to be the reality. Well, it can't all be "fuck me, cunt" moments and that's just how it is.

As for D/s relationships because of the market, subs being much less numerous than Doms (Just look at Alt.com or Bondage.com), the subs are really the people who hold the power which defeats the whole idea. The Dom is really the person on the end of the leash and not the sub, in reality the Dom services the sub and as long as he performs the sub won't walk away and he'll keep his position, which really isn't a position of power at all. You can see the psychology of this in the ads written by subs, the whole diction is one of someone possessing something that is in high demand and they are asking a high price.
Damn right they ask a high price. Don't they deserve to? Should they submit to the first guy who comes along holding a crop? No, of course not. I think what you seem to be missing in this whole thing is the power exchange. Yes the sub holds the power, but then it is willingly given up to the dom. Taking that power and keeping it is the challenge and joy of being a dominant.

However, no one wants to end up in jail so sugarcoated it will remain and we will all play the game and fantasize it is the real thing or at least try to.
This in my opinion is a horrible statement. No one wants to end up in jail? Fatasize it's the real thing? What real thing? Real torture? Real rape? Surely you don't advocate those things?