Be easier if you wanted to be the sub IMO!

Here's a book recommended to me -jay wisemans for beginners s/m 101
Never seen it myself.

My suggestion, being in a similar situation- after 18 years of marriage, my wife has a passing interest on occasion...is to take it real slow.

I guess you could bring it up while watching some movie like 'The secretary', 'Nine & a half weeks' or something.

If you don't mind me asking- how can you be married 5 years & not have some idea of how kinky she is? Haven't you ever played with ice cubes, or rubber gloves? Never said 'I'll tie you to the bed & have my wicked way with you my pretty' in your best evil voice?

Ever tried holding her wrists while you play with her? That can give some indication of what she's into.

Keep it light & fun, & you may have some hope- you may also end up having to settle for 'straight sex' for the rest of your life.....

Good luck.

Tojo