I can't really see much to add to this thread, apart from the fact that I agree with the whole thing pretty much word for word.

submissivewife, I don't know you, but congrats on taking that step. You can be damn proud of yourself.

The majority of people in any sort of relationship have some degree of dependance on their partner. Ideally we should all be able to be happy by ourselves, then find a partner, rather than looking for happiness in someone else.

You have a way with words nikita- good point about developing an attachment to a D/s relationship or the man himself. My pet hate is the belief that 'a Dom is a Dom & a sub is a sub'. We're all people- every D/s relationship is different & I believe very strongly the people are much more important than the type of relationship. To look for a 'Dom' must surely take second place to looking for a decent person, who may also happen to have Dominant qualities.

Bugger the 'rules' -there are no 'rules'. Do what you feel comfortable with, & if the other person isn't happy, give them the flick.

Tojo