Quote Originally Posted by submissivewife
What I mean to say is, aren't we to be learning continuously? Trained in one or more area(s) maybe, but not in another. Really, CAN a sub ever be said to be trained? I find that I put my all into pleasing my Dom only to be told that I am lacking. It is very discouraging.
Kelly, a sub can be trained to do things for her Dom as long as they fall within your boundaries. That means, they must respect and accept there are things that are clearly red flag for you.

If I remember correctly, one of your past tops pushed you further than you wanted to go. It upset you, as it should. You figured out that he was not a good Dom.

Similarly, a dom who is rarely acknowledges your sincere attempts to please him, and doesn't show you how, should be kicked to the curb. I consider that emotional abuse.

I totally agree with Aesop here:

If your contact is telling you that you're doing BDSM or d/s wrong then seriously question him about it. There is no right way to do any of this. It's for your pleasure and fun, not some class to be passed. Many of these trolls will try to undermine your self-esteem by telling you that you don't know anything or that you're untrained in BDSM. And they'll usually say that just before or after telling you to do something you don't wanna do. You may not know anything and you may never have been trained before, but remember this: You cannot be universally trained for BDSM. Yes there are similarities in d/s relationships, but no two dominants are the same so no two training "programs" -for lack of a better word - are the same. My wife responds to my facial expression with accuracy at this point, but if she went to another dominant she would have to learn his mannerisms and his likes before she could be considered "trained". So if your guy is telling you that you aren't trained tell him, "Well yeah, I thought it was your job to do that."
Part of the fun or high a dom gets is in training the sub to do what they want for the dom's pleasure. In doing so, they take the sub to a place in their submissiveness they've never been before. Think about that.

As always, my thoughts are for you.