Honestly, why bother worrying about labels. If you and your Significant Other are pleased with your dynamic, it won't matter if you call each other Pookey and schnikle. If the two of you are not happy and getting your respective needs met, then you can use the 'proper' labels and it won't make you any happier.

Labels are for packages and pigeonholes are for pigeons. Neither should be applied to people.

*stepping off my soapbox now*