i think trying to make children into some D/s dynamic is a recipe for disaster and mental/emotional problems. i understand that it is essentially a traditional way of raising children (with different words) but i think that sort of thing keeps therapists in business.

in dealing with helping to raise my Owner's kids i've tried very hard to be equals with them- people equal in value but not in experience or in responsibility. that didnt make me a push over or their buddy or someone who wouldnt step up and make the hard choices. quite the opposite really. i took the position that i am here to help teach them from my own experience in life, with the goal of helping them have the happiest, healthiest life of their choosing. helping them however i can to their happiness and wellbeing is my responsibility and one of the most important things in my life..very few other people in life will want the best for them with no ulterior motives of their own... therefore listening to me is self interest on their part. no enforcement necessary. they listened to me because i so obviously cared and was NOT trying to force them into my own picture of them. it's been anything healthy that you want to do is fine.. and i'll fight you to the mat if you're trying to hurt yourself somehow... because i love you and its my job to protect you, even from you.

and im pretty sure ive said similar things directly to them.

and they dont always listen. but there is no need to do anything to enforce "obediance" or some such.. because they kick themselves for Us when they get to the end of insisting on going their own way, against Our advice, and then see that yet again We were right. and they say themselves "when will I learn to listen to you guys?"..(soon i hope- listen first and skip the need to kick yourself later)

this eliminates the problem of the dominant party needing to find a way to cope with no longer enforcing Dominance.. because that problem doesnt exsist if the children arent being Dominated and controlled. this way they simply grow up into equals who have gained life experience and we can all help each other now. if one of them someday knows better how to do something than i do then i will be glad to take their advice or help with it, the same as they took mine when they didnt know.

and by the way its hard to rebell when there's no force being applied. (they managed a bit but not much *smile* they had to get resourceful *L*).

guidance and advice seems to have worked out just fine. once in a very very great while they were directly overruled and told what they would be doing but it was so extremely rare that they listened because the rarity underlined that it was something crucial, not an ego trip. that We said this has to be because it really did have to be.

theyre both great people and now that theyre grown up, instead of the usual 'cant wait to escape home and my parents' control' type of thing, i think that we'll always be close. i hope that they'll always be comfortable turning to Us for help (as theyre not made subservient by asking), and that they'll actually want Us in their life unlike so many families where the kids get out at adulthood and try never to come back until theyre trapped into it for a holiday or something.

so far so good. We may have to pry them out of the house with a crowbar actually *L*
---------------------

(thankYou Owner. it was hard to keep my mouth shut on that one *smile**kiss*)