Quote Originally Posted by just_annie View Post
The person above in my opinion is not a Dom but an abuser.... and it is too bad he wasn't caught. Make one wonder how many more will loose their lives because of him and in that same process continue to add a bad "perception" to BDSM because of people like him.



At times people's common sense is being utilized to the fullest too though for the information they are being given. Using your partner as an example (since you mentioned it and it is an easy example to use)... He may be a great role player but does he share that he is only role playing or does he phrase things in such a fashion that it is hard to determine it is just a role play? Does he do it just in a scene or throughout the conversation? Does he share that the information he is sharing isn't real? If you have a hard time telling and you know him how do you think that effects someone who doesn't know him?

It is as much about the way information is delivered, on both sides, as it is about the common sense of the person at times.
<nods> I Agree on all you say about the "supposed dom". A very frightening experience for me, since I was the one Chosen to actually go and get my friend from him, since I was the only one that had not offended him by writing anything in email, or saying anything in phone conversations, that he could term *against him*. He actually Trusted me to come and take my friend to lunch. He greeted me at the door, and through arrangements made between a Dom in my area and himself, he did not let me, or invite me, into his house <thank goodness>. Just seeing this person up close was scarrey enough for me Honestly. It too bothers me greatly that he's still out there, and that yes what he does Affects this Community as a whole. It seems the Positive things Never hit the newspapers and media...while the negative things always do <grimace>.

On my Partner heres online behavior, from what I see, he *initially* states clearly upfront. He has a ad here for instance, seeking an *online* submissive. I think sometimes things get muddled along the way with some. Because that is what I've seen. I do see that keeping in line with the fantasy and Roleplay things are not entirely Honest. I also don't Agree with some of this when it Appears a persons Feelings and such are comming involved beyond Online. But he makes his Choices in these things. As for me and Knowing I have a hard time sometimes seperating the things he does online and Knowing the person he is communicating with may have this problem also, I can only realize this, since I am not involved. I have at times said something to him, or attempted to reach out to some that I see are having a tough time, in a sense, but these efforts fall on deaf ears on both sides. He insists "it's just the online way he plays" and when there is feedback from the others it is disbelief of me <shrugs>. Not much I can do with either of those things.

Personally, I am Always *Me* online or off. And I am Always upfront and Honest in communications with other PPL. Though I do not give out Personally identifying information to Anyone who doesn't Know me ITF, beyond a city and state. No addresses, phone numbers etc. But he does occassionally do this, and that creeps me out.

I Agree with you that "the way information is delivered" may have a lot to do with someone utilizing their common sense . Like in the situations of where one is not open and upfront with others. But I still think common sense and good judgement should Always win over in these things. I do at the very least see many cues that some PPL have concerns or intuitions in their net relating, and then Choose to ignore those things on behalf of what they wish for. As it has been expressed on this, and other threads I have read about the net, Anyone can be or Appear to be Anything or Anyone they Choose. And also that PPL on the net are most times Not who they Appear to be at all. I Know this to be True about my Partner and several other(s) I know ITF. And yet...even still....sometimes even I get caught up in the middle wondering WTF. And I Know other PPL Itf who have and do as well (not with my Partner but with others).

As for my Partner and others I also Know ITF, that I percieve may not necessarily play fair in the net sandbox, what can I really do about that? As they All say that's "how they play". I think it's far better advice to encourage other(s) to consider well, be Safe, and really pay attention, in net relating. And as another on this thread suggested > if one is considering RT with someone on the net, take it slow, and spend RT with that person, before really Committing to or counting anything. And that's how I handle things of a net nature. And how I did handle them...even with my Partner before we met RT. Wisdom I think.

Respectfully~SidheWolf