That night I escorted you to a ball, which lead to many strolls in the garden as well as many nightly balls. The whole time tormented by my secret and knowing I should not let myself become connected, or more importantly not allow you to become connected to me. I seem to unable to control my moves, my very thoughts these days for I knew I loved you and that seemed to be all that mattered.

The faithful night came when I knew I had to tell you my secret and risk losing you forever. I found myself that night sitting in your gathering room trying hard to relax, look calm and sure of myself. Which was as far from the truth as it could be. The thought of losing you scared me more then all my adventures put together. I took your hand in mine and quietly begin telling you what I knew I must. "Antoinette I feel as if I have known you for a long time, for a lifetime to be exact. You have an energy, an exuberance that draws me to you. I trust you deeply, more then I have ever trusted anyone. I pray you trust me as well."

You nodded your head slowly but with certainty. A scared look covering your face unsure of what it is I am trying to say. Yet, patiently listening and waiting. I could read what it was you were hoping I had to say, for it is the very thing I dream of asking you but knowing I could not.
I continue "You feel my soul with music and such joy."

I am a little breathless, as I try and explain what it is I must explain. "Antoinette, I love you, but I have not been totally honest with you milady and I must before we go any father with this relationship."

My heart sunk as I watched your eyes cloud over with fear and hurt of the idea that I have not been honest with you. Taking a deep breath I continued, " I guess the best way is to just tell you, then I will leave and you will not have to bother with me ever again."

You stopped me with a soft touch to my cheek and used my true name while saying, "Dear Trent, what ever it is could not be so bad as I would ever want you to leave and never return. For I too love you deeply."

My eyes filled with tears knowing what you said was true and that my secret was apt to kill that very love you professed. I take another deep breath and forgot all the subtle ways and blurted out "I am not a man, I am a female. I hide this fact to live the life I know I was meant to live, the life of a man, of a Knight. I love you, I have always found women attractive and felt I was a Knight. So, as a young teen I left home, dressed in boys cloths and became a knave. I have lived this life every since. I fought any feelings I had and would not allow myself to feel for women like other men would instead spent many hours alone or traveling to do the biding of the King and Queen." I stopped realizing I was rambling on barely taking a breath and realized your hand was still there in mine. I chanced a glance at you, my breath caught as I saw you were actually smiling at me. I must have looked totally shocked, for your sweet giggle escaped your throat. Then you pressed your sweet gentle hand to my cheek. "Oh dear Trent, milord I have known you to be a woman from the moment we meet. I knew that moment I had found the "man" for me. I realized from the beginning that I had found my soul mate in you." I smiled my soul flying higher then it had ever done before.

You smiled back and continued "You are strong, sure, noble, and as much a man as any Knight of the round table, but at night in the privacy of your own room you are a woman. This is what I have craved for so long. And I found it in you." As you finished you leaned over and kissed me ever so lightly. Then lowered your eyes, your familiar blush returning.

I placed my finger under your chin, softly but firmly lifting your face to meet my eyes. I said in a soft, firm voice "are you sure this is what you desire."

You try to lower your gaze once again, but my fingers remained firm on your chin. For a moment my question sat teetering in the air, both of our breaths coming rapidly. The air was charged with excitement and fear. I watched you closely afraid you had already changed your mind. Then as our eyes remained locked your mouth formed the words and whisper "yes".

A calmness settled over me and I drew you to me and kissed your ever-alluring lips. The meeting of our lips was like a soft embrace, drawing a heat into my chest. I knew for sure that we were soul mates. I felt as if I had come home after a long journey, slightly strange but wholly comforting.

Pulling away slightly to look at you, your smile warmed my soul, your fingers were tracing my cheek leaving a trail as light as a sunbeam. I slowly slipped one hand in your hair and began to take your lips more urgently and make them mine. My tongue stroked into your mouth rhythmically, feeding my growing desire. Our kiss grew into a feverish dance that threatened to engulf us both.

Swaying gently to the rhythm that is grew within us. You’re soft hands stroked my back and muscular arms. My head was whirling with lust I was barely able to pull my lips from yours and gaze into your eyes. I slowly tried to compose myself, your eyes questioned me as to why I had stopped. I looked gently upon you and smiled.

"Antoinette I am a Knight of honor I can not take you with out a form of commitment, no matter how much I desire you." With that said, I slide down upon one knee with your hand with in mine and gazed deep with in those ocean blue eyes of yours. I found myself asking the one question I had dreamed of asking for so long. "Antoinette milady love, will you marry me and become my wife?"

Your eyes grew bright and became like miniature suns burning straight to my soul. Your eyes were so full of love it melted my heart completely. “Yes milord, my love, I will marry you and become your wife for now and always."

We celebrated and were married as soon as we could respectfully do so in a quiet ceremony under a full moon. Only a few friends joined us there. We exchanged vows of love and loyalty to each other. After we were back in our chambers, I pulled you to me and began slowly to move my hands to the top button of your dress. You stopped me and said "My dear Trent I have a gift for you besides my womanhood that I have never given to another." This is when you slid to your knees before me eyes lowered slightly. I offer to you the gift of my love and submission. The gift of my total trust."

I could not believe what you were saying or doing, I had for many years wished for exact thing but never expected it much less this complete and total trust of another to be from the one I married and in the form of a woman. I smiled as tears streamed my down my cheek in joy and love.

Raising your eyes to me gently, I said "please remain as you are for I have a gift for you also." I moved to my dressing cabinet taking from it a wooden box. I walked back to you unable and unwilling to stop smiling the whole time. I held the box low enough so that you could see what was in it as I lifted the lid. With in the box cradled by black crush velvet material was a thin ice blue collar. Your eyes sparked as I removed the precious treasure from its box. I placed it upon

your neck but before fastening it I quietly asked, “Do you wish to stop. We both know we will have to go though a formal wedding before the King, the Queen and all the court, risking our secret being exposed before all, so that we can live together as husband and wife. If you wish not to risk this or do not wish to continue speak now or else our path will be chosen and walk it together we will."

You lowered your eyes but for a brief moment then raised them to Me and said "I except your gift milord the same as I offer mine with total trust and love."