well ofcourse there should be terms. There is absolutely no question about it from my point of view anyways. A sub that wants me to decide absolutely everything will just like John both scare and bore me.
I sure dont want to do anything to my sub that she isnt willing to do (yes ofcourse push the limits but you do that in every relationship).

whoever said that to your friend would be somebody I would recommend her to back away from. It sure isnt safe for the sub and it isnt really safe to submit to somebody without any limits or terms.

There are contracts to use if needed. Show her them (and even whoever said it to your friend).

I have said it in other threads: Submission is a gift from the sub to the Dom and and not the other way around. That gift is a very powerful and honoring thing to get from somebody.

I think I am gonna leave it at that for now. Might add some things later though.