LadyAmanda,

If this has been completed and posted, please so advise.

If you're still working on it, here are a few ideas:

One: a little more descriptive attention to what these cute girls are wearing. It helps flesh things out in one's imagination. What color skirts, plaid, how long? Knee socks? Shoes? And how about lingerie. Give them pretty, delicate underwear. Wouldn't a girl want to wear a slip/halfslip underneath a wool uniform skirt? Say, something satiny, with a bit of lace or scalloping on the edge? Make the girls pretty for us...

Two: If Rebecca gets hot with the right spanking abuse, show her what it feels like to get punished without the reward of sexual excitement! She strikes me as a bit too-big-for-her-britches, where rough sex is just an adventure she can enjoy, as long as she 's in control.
]
Let's see what happens when she doesn't have control!

Three: Use Gillian as an absolute contrast to Rebecca. She allows Rebecca to entice her into rough sex play, but she (Gillian) is very innocent and virginal, but suggestable. She finds that as exotic and daring as Rebecca's romps may have seen to have been from a distance, once she gets involved--and can't back out!!--she finds herself ensared in pain, degradation, humiliation, violation, and actual rape.

Both girls wind up wiser, much sadder, and definitely the worse for wear.