No-one can be expected to live without one of the simple pleasures in life, whether it's in our lifestyle or vanilla. Sex is an important part of any relationship, and it has to be pleasurable for both people.

What kind of illness allows him to have you service him, but he can't recipricate? Except by hand, which doesn't seem to be very fulfilling for you!

As for not allowing you to masterbate - there is always the shower, the bathtub, the bathroom floor - lots of places, even just sitting in front of your computer monitor, alone in a darkened room, reading stories on the bdsm board ... Not that I'd know anything about that, of course!

While it would be difficult to find someone to tie you up and spank you in the situation you describe, it can be done. You must have free time by yourself, when you can allow yourself some freedom, if not, you aren't a wife, you're a slave.

Good luck, and let us help you in any way we can