Sarah,

I know that for me bdsm is not related to any "bad" history. I had an idyllic childhood. Totally normal. Very vanilla. I married the only guy I had slept with at 20. We were happy for 17 years and had fun playing with bondage and spanking etc. I am a very take charge type of woman. It's great to have someone you can trust enough to give over your fate to. Personally I don't think you can have such a great dom/sub relationship unless you are pretty well adjusted. To be able to trust like that takes faith in yourself and the other person.

In my job I see alot of really messed up people, and I can say with complete certainty the people on this site are much happier and well adjust than average.