Very worried that current bdsm is caused by past abuse

[Dngnkeeper]

But all the BDSM people that I met are all trashy, whackhead, some are abusive, none of them have decent personality.

ANother idea is to find a nice person and either introduce him/her into BDSM. But if that person is not interested, then a few months of time is wasted.

Rhonda this puzzles me. In the thirty years I have been involved with BDSM the people you discribe make up a small minority of the thousands I have met in the lifestyle. So it seems odd the all of the people you have met with BDSM interests fall into this catagory. As you dont indicate your location or where you have been meeting prospective partners its hard to explain this as it is the opposite of my experiences.

However, as far as sex is concerned, I have to date people in our BDSM circle. Should I continue to dig for a future someone who is a nice person also into bDSM? Or withdraw the idea and find a regular person?

Well thats up to you but if you continue to look for those with BDSM interests you certinally need to change your approach.

ANother idea is to find a nice person and either introduce him/her into BDSM. But if that person is not interested, then a few months of time is wasted.

This can work too. There are several threads here on the topic. But if you are interested in instant gratification you may just be disapointed in any person you meet.