Since the original question has been answered, I like to hijack this thread for a related question.

I was also abused when I was young, and because of that, I grow like the idea of BDSM. As a result, for relationship purpose, I only like people within the BDSM circle. Conventional sex and foreplay does not arouses me.

The regular friends that I met who are NOT into BDSM are decent, nice regular folks with great personality who is happy with conventional sex. If I am not into BDSM, I would have date these people.

But all the BDSM people that I met are all trashy, whackhead, some are abusive, none of them have decent personality.

However, as far as sex is concerned, I have to date people in our BDSM circle. Should I continue to dig for a future someone who is a nice person also into bDSM? Or withdraw the idea and find a regular person?

ANother idea is to find a nice person and either introduce him/her into BDSM. But if that person is not interested, then a few months of time is wasted.