experienced sub/new dom

[Ranai]

Hehe, I like the 'trial and improvement' expression. I'll try to remember that one.
Yes - relax and have fun, Jazzman.

I see no point in an unqualified insistence on confidence. It smacks of advocating dishonesty.
In your own interest: Be honest.
If you put on a show of 'absolute conviction' when you are not certain about something, any intelligent submissive will see right through it!!! He/she might go along with it, perhaps out of the desire to please, perhaps out of pity. In the long run, nothing is gained by pretending.

A person who is willing to be your submissive gives you the benefit of the doubt. You don't need to 'prove' anything. You can contribute your best to the relationship. So I'd say, show confindence when it is there. Ask when you don't know. When you have doubts, tell her. You have more fun in the process when you are not nervous that she might see things you are trying to hide. Being honest you can win her respect.

As for performance anxiety, the great thing is that you recognise it for what it is. Good for you! It shows a level of self-reflection that will work to your advantage. To use an analogy, many accomplished actors have stage fright. They can't make it go away. They play with the stage fright, not against it. As long as it is there, you can use the feeling in a productive way and let it fire your creative energies. Styles of dominance are as varied as the persons involved. Enjoy experimenting and finding out what suits you.