Quote Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Another reason the online BDSM community differs from the real world one so much is because the number of online users in the BDSM community that have actual, real world BDSM experience is in the minority. Many people online believe that the practices they see daily in chat rooms and groups are what occur in real life. And why shouldn’t they? They don’t know nay differently. Many people in many places worldwide do not have access to a real BDSM community they can visit in person and compare to what they have seen online. By the same token, however, many real world users find the online community to be full of fakes and people only playing at BDSM. Many practitioners of real world BDSM avoid the internet BDSM community, except to talk to other people in their local scene. Some from the BDSM communities of the real world do wander into chats and groups occasionally. Typically, these people stand out among the online-only users, because they are so different form the online-only users. Ordinarily, knowledgeable real world users that have entered an online community are usually treated in one of two ways: They are either perceived as oddities because of their differences in opinions and mannerisms than the ones shown by the online community or they are, ironically enough, treated as being ‘ignorant’ and ‘uninformed’ for the same reasons.


If members of real world BDSM communities don’t do what they can to explain and inform to those in online BDSM communities about the differences between real world practices and online ones, then the members of the real world communities only help to broadcast the impression of ‘internet ignorance’ more widely and to more and more people. And if members of online BDSM communities don’t do what they can to inform the people they meet that there are very different real world communities and some very informative sites on the internet about BDSM, then the members of the online community will only continue to enforce the ideas in peoples’ minds that what they see at face value is the truth.

Every member of each and every BDSM community, whether it is online or real world, has a commitment to help make truthful information about BDSM as widely available as possible. By not doing so, the members of the BDSM communities themselves are only helping those ignorant of the truths of BDSM to pass more laws sanctioning against consensual BDSM practices, BDSM fiction in literature and online, and other forms of ‘perversions and indecency.’ Is that what we want for ourselves?
Good article, TG.

I would agree for the most part that o/l D/s relationships in chat rooms and such often propagate craziness that would never be accepted in a r/t community or relationship.

However, I do think that the internet deserves a bit more credit as far as providing forums like this one...where intelligent, respectful members of the scene (many of us r/t as well as o/l) can chat openly. As someone that greatly values continued learning, I can't begin to express how much I appreciate the interaction and friendships I've found here with people from all over the world...conversation that would be impractical to impossible without the internet.

Also, places like this one are great because individuals with varying amounts of experience can share ideas, ask questions, and make suggestions.

Finally, I must say that my experience as a r/t participant in bdsm who is also online is not as negative as you mention above. I've actually found many people that started o/l that really seem to appreciate being able to ask me questions and get respectful answers about how things work in real time. I completely agree that we do have a responsibility to dispel the o/l bullshit when we see it...but I also think that, especially those new to bdsm in general, are appreciative of those helpful hints from more experienced r/t members of the community. After all, every one of us starts as a novice and must have been willing and interested in actively learning from others in order to get to where we are now.

eb