This is pretty well covered, but thought I would through in my opinion anyway.

Your Dom is right to help you push your limits, but the way he is doing it reflects a certain lack of maturity. He should talk to you about them and help you get past them, not put you in an either/or situation. In other words, I think he is is using his insecurity to control you. He is not sure about what he should do, and so he does the only thing he thinks will work. Plus, he does not trust you. this is a bad sign.

You need to telk to him and let him know that this is not acceptable behaviour on his part. Respect has to be mutual, or it does not exist.