Thanks for all your kind comments and advice.

I think it's wise to say, that whilst I am drun as I write this, it is not a permenant drunken stupor that I am in. I've simpole had a few too many down the pub having a laugh.

The comment about drinking my sorrows away, was made in jest. I know drinking ain;t the answer, and as I said, I can't cope with the hangovers.

But, i have to say, he was my first 24/7 master, and we were together for a very long time, even when he was away for months on end, I still had a structure to my life, he set me tasks and punishments, and it worked damn it! Now, i kind of have nothing.

There is a guy who i've been friends with for a long time. Knows I don;t want a relationship per say but he does want to play a bit, so I guess i'll give that a go, not as a serious master slave thing, but at least something where I can feel like I want to. My submissive side needs feeding, I;m far to miserable to take control of the rest of my life, so until the pet gets fed, i'm pretty much screwed.

I kind of irks me though, all my future plans were focused around him. I qualify at the end of June, and it was the intention that I move to where ever he is posted and focus on my carrer there, obviously, thats changed now, so not quite sure what or where i'm going to go now.

Anyway, the alcohol is making it hard for me to type a full sentence, so I think I'm gonna sign off now and try and get some much needed sleep.

Thanks again

Laura