Dngnkeeper; I have to agree that your description is very good. My own experience is much like this--different only in some small points.

Pain can be a trigger for me too... I start out frustrated and any pain experienced in the initial stages of the scene still seems to 'hurt.' I too find myself very easily distracted by mundane thoughts; sometimes these lead me off into thinking that I shouldn't even be here--that I have things to do! Crazy, I know--since I crave this situation.

Eventually, there reaches a point usually where the punishment has reached a level of pain that shocks me as "unbearable" (it isn't, though). At that point my body automatically reacts with panic, the adrenaline starts to rush, and my breathing and heart rate go up. My mind is clouded with thoughts like "OMG--this is too much." Deep down I know that I could use my safeword/signal but I never do. On the surface though, I am struggling to escape as a natural reaction.

It is at this point usually that my domme leans in close and speaks in my ear "Is this too much... you want me to stop?" The words are almost menacing, but if I nodded my head she would let me go. Every single time though, I stop to think about it. I don't know why I ponder it--maybe just to remind myself I have a choice. Once I shake my head 'no', I have given in and my descent into subspace begins.

It must be this turning point which accelerates the progress... because pretty soon afterwards I will experience a warm, euphoric feeling. The pain becomes love, the bonds become friends, and usually I experience a great rise in body temperature. It is amazing how much like MDMA this experience is. (pure mdma mind you, not crappy speed-laced pills)

I can also get into sub-space with no punishment or pain whatsoever. This comes from extended periods of bondage. After about an hour, I start to go through stages... frustration, struggle, submission, struggle, giving up... something like that. Eventually, I will enter that euphoric trance-like state. If I'm not blindfolded, I too get strange visual effects--colours seem vivid, edges fuzzy. In this case though, a whip or other punishment will snap me back a few levels... then I will start the whole process again.

I read a really good article on sub-space recently... if I can find it maybe I can post it here.

Quote Originally Posted by Lil One
I wondered why I abort so early in the game. I thought maybe I don't trust my top, but that's not it.....
Lil One; You have to focus on what you really want out of the scene. For some, the joy of submission only comes from truly accepting everything your top will give you. I know that my safeword is only for times where I believe I will suffer physical damage...i.e. a hand or foot going numb, or a gag too tight and cutting my lip, or something like that. If you think of your safeword like that--kind of like the red handle for emergency stop on a subway car--then you will be less tempted to abort your journey.