Quote Originally Posted by duktig flicka
First of all, I want to apologize in advance to anyone who this offends. Though my response to the 24 hour bdsm is negative, I really am trying to understand it and see the alternative point of view.

It has only recently come to my attention that for some people, bdsm is not just something that is limited to the bedroom, so to speak. As I would absolutely not tolerate anything less than equal treatment from my boyfriend in anything outside of sex, I'm utterly confused and somewhat emotionally distressed by this idea.
Having tried several different types of relationships in my life, I find myself happiest in a 21-year marriage a woman who wants me to push her beyond her barriers, but who is not interested in being humiliated or devalued.

My lovely and talented wife is a brilliant artist, a good mother, and an educated woman. She is also severely repressed by years of parental mental abuse and a terrible, violent rape when she was young. She craves sex, but has deep blocks against it. She also has self-confidence problems, and wants to be pushed to succeed in spite of her fears. So, for her well-being and my own enjoyment, I use various techniques to break through her limitations.

When sex is the rule, I like it hard and on the edge; I want my partner to come hard and often, often beyond their own wishes. The best sex we have is when my wife continues orgasming long after I'm spent; that happens when we get "kinky" and I push her beyond the limits improsed by her Catholic upbringing.

Outside the bedroom, I have no interest in dominating a person merely for the act of dominating them; domination must serve a purpose beyond satifying my male ego. In our case, I dominate my wife's art career; without me pushing her to work, or forcing her to charge money for her skills, she would wallow in self-denigration and waste her talent. So I control her work, setting goals, punishments, and rewards to reach the goal of success (both artistically and financially).

Dominating my wife helps her be more than she could be without it. We both gain.