i've been trying to work out how to respond to this thread succinctly, because it's one that threatens to yap on and on.

What i came up with is that BDSM or perhaps specifically, Ds...is an ethos or 'system' which is free from specifics (must include sex, must be practiced for X amount of time etc)...the specifics are applied by individuals in terms of whether it's a sexual thing, whether it's a lifestyle thing etc.

Incidentally, it's probably also why we're all talking about very different things, under the one umbrella, a lot of the time.

sl