Why the 24 hour bdsm?

[Eraser]

Thank you so much, all of you, for trying to help me understand. But I still don't get it....maybe I just don't belong here after all.

Belong where? in the forum? bah I hardly think that is the case. You enjoy BDSM the fact of being 24/7 or not has no bareing on being here.

I don't know what that's supposed to make me then, if I'm apparently not "real" bdsm.

No you are just not into TPE or the 24/7 part.
http://www.mistresspatricia.net/Info...submission.htm

you don't have to be on the bottom 3 to be into BDSM, you can be the first and still be into it.

I'm not gonna comment on the other people.

Eraser I'd like to make it clear that my boyfriend and I do not do what we do because it turns him on, but because it turns us on. ...If I really didn't want to do it, I wouldn't, and he'd be very upset if he found that I had done something I didn't want to just for him.... If he was trying to make me do things I really didn't want to, I'm quite certain I would kick him out. [/QUOTE]

It turns both me and my sub on. Your talking about not getting things, your next comment I don't get. Why if you did something he didn't like just for him he would be upset? I HATE ballet (I think alot of men do) but I've taken my girl to the ballet a number of times. Should she be upset with? Isn't this part of the give and take of any relationship? Isn't this part of loving? I've taken her and endured hours of being bored off my ass and miserable just so she could see a bunch of people jump around in tights. Taken up my entire day more then once. I've missed other events and things I wanted to do just so she could go to the ballet or the opera. Hell I've planned entire vacations around it. Taken my entire time to do something I DEFFINATLY did not want to because she did.

Sorry to get off-topic, but I don't think that could be said to be an external locus of control. If the sub decided to enter into the relationship themself and punishments/rewards are a result of their own actions, then that's an internal locus of control, don't you think?

the locus of control is reffering to there feeling and no its not a part of every submissive. What I am refferring is fairly common place in and out of BDSM where a person or partner derives a sigificant portion of there personal idenity by there actions percieved by another and feel the other persons mood demeanor and state of mind is a direct reflection of there own actions. How many mothers have you heard say that there child did or did not do because they were a good or were not a good mother? It is realitivly the same thing its a developmental growth stage that everyone goes through the degree that is retained into adulthood varies of course or can be placed specificly to a person not a whole. You do NOT have to have such a disposition to be submissive.

I don't think consent or "choice" themselves are anywhere near enough to relieve it of feminist concern. In the 50's, women weren't kidnapped and dragged into cooking and cleaning for 70 hours a week, either.

No they weren't but they were socially expected to that way by a prodominatly Male led society. So now we have come 180 so to speak, now we have women that are socielly expect NOT to act a paticular way by the motivations of the up and coming female minds of our society and the ones that DO want that way of life that the feminist society tells them they should want are anti-feminist? Why? becase they don't cling to the feminist ideals? its no different to operess someone or make them act a paticular way because of sociological view. In the 50's society said act this way and women did. Now your telling them there free to do what they want to be equals and they are choicing there way of life and your trying to opress them out of it and tell them its wrong. Why? This what they want to do and your trying to force them to think and act the way the "movement" wants them to. How is this any different then the 50's?

I think the way to understand if it's anti-feminist or not is to examine why people choose it.

Well there deffinatly not socially pushed into it, BDSM is frowned on by society as a whole and is at least a misdomeanor in some states. So you can't say there being sociologically opressed into it. They do it out of there own desire to be there for there own reasons. Which would be more of a case by case decision and has its own individual psychological roots.

Your saying you don't understand why someone would want to be treated that way. Just because you don't understand it or its not what you want doesn't make it wrong. I don't understand why some people are bi or gay. I don't why some people belong to certain religions. That doesn't make it wrong. Just ask the fact you don't choose to live BDSM inn a TPE 24/7 doesn't make you not into BDSM or not real.