Quote Originally Posted by slavelucy
You raise some really interesting points there, Merrioc, most thought provoking. The only three points i would make are:

1) Having a husband/wife/SO is not the same as having another dominant. A spouse is not a dom, they are a partner.

2) As an extension of one...the commitments to them are just that, commitments, not submission.

3) Life is about a series of commitments, and i don't feel that having to sometimes honour them is the same as or should be confused with a lack of willingness to submit.

i think all this adds up to the conclusion that if you took it to the nth degree, unless one dedicated their entire life to BDSM, it's gonna happen that sometimes life gets in the way..BUT, i understand that there is a difference in seeing a dominant purely to be trained and actually being in a Ds relationship, which is, i believe, the crux of any potential disagreement on the issue.

sl
i completely agree with all three of your points...but i think ultimately the original gripe was that she had made the committment and actually set dates and then kept backing out of those dates for one reason or another...submitting or not i dont think was as much of the issue as overextending her ability to follow through with plans that were made...i have vanilla friends that are just as terrible about that sort of thing, it makes me nuts *lol* i would rather someone tell me that they are sorry but are too busy than to make plans with me and then back out at the last minute...at least if i know ahead of time then i can find something else to fill my time

just my take on things...