(long)You can't serve two Masters or three or four.... (rant/commentery/sounding off)

[Eraser]

It seems that my comments have been misintepreted by more then one person.

I'm not speaking about being poly, or even having casual relationships away from a primary, all that is just fine with me and I would be a hypocrite if I said otherwise.

I also believe in the Hebrew sense of love, not the english version. In english we have 1 word for love. You love your parents, your family, your dog, humanity, your spouce, your neighbor. its all one word. But in hebrew there are 7 words for love each meaning a different thing and a different distinct type.


As far as what happened. I'll throw you the cliff's notes version. Basiclly I met a sub that I liked, she had alot of potential (at least in words) to grow into something spectacular. After dicussions and negotiations and agreements I outline a simple schedule, 3 weekends a month. which I also asked her husband directly about and he was fine with it as well.

First month was great, the next month something came up one weekend and I accepted the excuse. the next month again she tried to beg out of a weekend and was punished for it. the next month it was 2, then it was all three, after the second month on not coming down I final determined it was in my best intrest to release her she wasn't serious enough to me.

The first thought that came to my mind, and I am sure yours as well, is she wasn't interested anymore or something along those lines. So when she came on-line I told her that she was released. She begged and pleaded, I simply explain why. Then she got in her car and drove the hour and a half down here to plead and beg again. promising and begging. The fact she drove down told me it wasn't a lack of intrest so I gave her one last chance. Sure enough Friday night came and there was no knock at my door. yet there she was on-line. So I released her last night for the final time.

She couldn't handle the commitments she made and she made to many, her family, her friends, Socializing. She wanted to many things. I guess I am the fool in all this since this isn't the first time.

[jaeangel]

You know, you have a point.
I hadn't thought of all that before. Well, maybe I did, but not in as clear and concise a way as you just laid out.
I posted a thread in the personals here on the Library; my hubby and I were looking for another couple or a Domme to whom I could go every one in a while when my desire to submit and be used got strong. I think I specified in the ad that it wouldn't be a regular thing, due to hubby's work schedule, the fatc that I don't drive, and the fact that we have two toddlers...but I hadn't thought of how unfair that might be to the Domme/Dominant/couple.
Yes, I already have a lot of Masters; my boys, first and foremost; they need me like no one else does. Then there's hubby, who gets put third down on the list; not really fair to him, but he understands because they're his kids too. And then there's my writing. I started writing last August as a relief from the boredom of staying home with the children all day long...but when I discovered that people liked it and actually considered me a good writer, I got more into it. Now I actually have an informal fan base, and am looking to get published hopefully in the near future.I entered my first writing contest last Nov, and to my surprise won third over some other more experienced 'Net writers. So I kept at it. Now it's more like a hobby/obsession/mental illness.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to get at is that I think I really should sit down and consider whether I need another responsibility to yet another person in my life. My kids, my hubby, my fans, and now...another Master/Mistress? Even if it's only a couple days a month? I do have to think about it.
Thank you for pointing that out.

[redEva]

Be it rant or what ever it might, you made great point! We have grown to expect it all, and even when we know we do not have enough hours in a day to carry out all the assumed responsibilities, we still tend to pile yet some more demands on our time.

It is sad thing that out of all masters we decide to serve, the one that would give us personally most satisfaction never makes the top of the list. I understand what you mean and i agree wholeheartedly with you. One has to make choices – that is not always the simplest thing to do.