Hey duktig, everyone,

Great thread, lots of good insights. My subbie has had some similar experiences happen to her. Not only with her father, but with some of her other "masters" and "lovers" (an even MORE contradictory term) have done some equitably horrible things to her.

I know she has always had a fascination with BDSM, even from a pre-pubescent age. I personally think that some of her traumatizing experiences made her feel less intimidated by fetish. After all, she viewed them as consentual and enjoying themselves so she never categorized BDSM with abuse/trauma.

Its odd that you are attracted to play similar to your abuse. Whenever I am with my pet and I do something similar to her abuse, it triggers a panic attack and I have to stop the scene and make sure she feels better. Even when just having sex, once I was humping her in a way that reminded her of an abusive lover and she began screaming "Stop, No!" (for REAL) and crying. We talked about it and I learned the source of her anxiety.

Oh, by the way, masterkurt wrote:
"Excellence can be achieved only thru hard work and sufference ... but true passion drives you ahead..."

I would have used the word "sacrifice" instead of "sufference," but man I agree TOTALLY!

Find your Peace,
Pope.