Quote Originally Posted by duktig flicka
I would say it is highly improbable that this history and my desire to be dominated, humiliated and hurt are unconnected. … From a biopsychological point of view, it makes sense - children have a survival instinct to mold themselves to what their parents wish them to be in order to ensure that their parents take care of them.
Adolescents also have a survival instinct to ignore their parents if they are clearly wrong. This is what causes young ‘rebels without a cause’. That instinct has been triggered without a focus. Cultural evolution depends on the two instincts.

Some people get their interest in BDSM your way - the man with the box probably more than the boot on the head which is not very sexual. Some get it by rebelling against restrictive parents, trying anything their parents would hate. Some get it by really wanting to be what their parents wanted – that’s where the service-oriented d/s stuff comes from I would guess. (Anyone got any evidence?)

The big point is, that while it is nice to work out how you came to be who you are, it is much nicer to accept who you are, to celebrate who you are, and to have fun whoever you are.

Spike