No, you are not being stupid. Some stuff and discoveries hit us when we least expect it. Secretary was … good movie. I personally enjoyed much more Nine 1/2 weeks with Mickey and Kim (yeah … I know it is old movie, so what!)
As for what to do with husband… did he watch the movie with you? If so how did he react? If not would you like to watch it with him?
Browse the forums, check particularly MY BDSM Life section. You are not the first or only person that has this or similar dilemma.
Usual answer – and in whole honest the best advice is talk it over. Is it that simple? Of course not! But…. Well, stick around, and maybe you get some ideas.