Ok,

I have read most of the posts here, and the general consensus is that the connection is the important thing. I agree totally, I do not know how to define it other than that, but having a slave who is willing to trust me and let me control her is intoxicating. This means that I sometimes do things that I do not enjoy because she needs them.

The relationship is more intense than a vanilla one because the degree of openess is greater. I no longer want a vanill relationship, not because I wnat to be in control, but because the connection from the trust, respect, and love is more important. And that flows both ways.