Quote Originally Posted by Canopus
It's interesting the traps Doms can fall into. To have a sub on tap 24/7 sadly can lead many to be lazy. Perhaps it is lack of imagination.
We've had some pretty spirited discussion here in the past over views on the lifestyle thing. In my relationship it is very much limited to the bedroom...or specifically planned scenes. In otherwords it's sexually based. Others here prefer it more as a whole lifestyle or behavioral situation. I see some of the lifestylers get...I don't know, almost "annoyed" at those of us who consider it more of a sexual fetish. But as I have advocated often in the past, to each his own. In my case we (as in my sub and I) are on the same page with the Dom/sub arrangement and it works very well for us...so our opinions are the only ones that matter. For the 24/7 types...more power to them. If it works for the couple then who am I to inflict my opinion on them. And I did use the word "inflict" on purpose because I don't see a problem with offering opinion in a non-judgemental way. Not to say that I don't find 24/7 attractive. It just wouldn't work in this relationship and the relationship itself is more important to me on it's own merit.

Back on topic... I doubt if there are any of us here that haven't had a relationship turn out to be a failure. Vanilla or otherwise. Everybody goes into it all starry eyed...but quite often it turns out to be a dissappointment somewhere down the road. How many of us have vanilla friends who are in great relationships? I can think of very few myself. You just have to mourn appropriately and keep looking for the right one.