Respect

[albear]

sugeng, I had an incident in the chat room recently where someone demanded the use of capital letters in their name. I'm generally not a fan of capital letters, so I don't usually use them in chat or text messaging or any quick exchange (I use them here for ease of reading) and I'd also received some very upsetting news just prior. I'm afraid I responded with no courtesy at all, never mind respect! (In fact, I think I told him to stick 'em up his clacker, but I did apologise and redeem myself a little)

Respect is definitely earned, but everyone deserves to be treated with courtesy (unless they've proved themselves to be an arse, and even then I'd probably be polite). I cringe a little whenever anyone assumes because they put a title in front of their name they are to be obeyed, or whenever anyone spells their name without a capital letter they assume they are, or want, to be ordered around.

Not everyone will agree on what is right or proper, and there are going to be varying answers depending on how you view the lifestyle, and how strictly you view protocol.

[Garmonbozia]

Well I am nothing if not unconventional and I have never worried about protocol or tradition too much (most of which I find downright silly). I sometimes can't be arsed capitalising things, I am not a lover of the shift key, and have often been told I should capitalise my name. I'm sorry (I'm not but it's a euphemism so...) but if all you can see is that my name is not capitalised and not what I am actually writing then your opinion is not of any interest to me in the first place. I personally find the 'H/hello E/everyone' kind of shit very annoying. I can't imagine how time consuming it is for the people to do it and feel it is unnecessary drivel that simply bogs down a conversation. I'm a bit of a harsh bastard aren't I but I wear my heart on my sleeve and damn the consequences.

Jason

[Dslave]

Respect is definitely earned, but everyone deserves to be treated with courtesy (unless they've proved themselves to be an arse, and even then I'd probably be polite). I cringe a little whenever anyone assumes because they put a title in front of their name they are to be obeyed, or whenever anyone spells their name without a capital letter they assume they are, or want, to be ordered around.

Not everyone will agree on what is right or proper, and there are going to be varying answers depending on how you view the lifestyle, and how strictly you view protocol.

That is actually one of the reasons I posted this. There IS a particular protocol that seems to be expected over the net that doesn't seem to really be in place in the real world and I wondered what people thought about Doms and Masters "demanding" respect from the moment they meet you when in real life it seems (though, I could be wrong because my dealings with other Doms/Masters other than my own are limited as I am not very active in the "community" any further than going to PE clubs once in awhile) that Doms and other people's Masters prefer to earn your respect rather than have it given to them.

[redEva]

I know I’m asking for trouble posting this, but…

The capitalization in the chat … A/all etc – takes to much time and is annoying to me – I will not practise it, yet at the same time if someone is inclined to do so – their choice.

Capitalizing or not of your name – it is unwritten rule and I don’t see anything wrong with it. If you go to a fetish party and you consider your self Dominant – you will not wear dog collar! The online community is like any other public place, and similarly you set your own image from the moment you enter the room. Not much to see of you – but your nick and your interaction. I agree that capital letter in your name does not buy you respect nor does it mean that you truly are Dominant (Goddess knows there was way to many Masters that kneeled in front of me way to fast!), but at least gives others the idea of how you see yourself.

Addressing: that depends on the person and I don’t think we can really reach any agreement here. Addressing person with Sir or Madam – that is just courtesy and I see nothing wrong with it (my own opinion again). Master/Mistress, Lord/Lady etc.. titles that need to be agreed on. If you log in as MasterMark – I will address you as such. Same with LadyCassandra, LordX or MistressY. I do not see why would that be an issue or problem. I am bothered more by “Doms” entering rooms and ordering around anybody with lowercase nick. That is where I draw the line and that is where the respect is earned.

Gor is different world – and so are their chatrooms. You will not enter gay bar and be offended if same sex person approaches you. One will learn hard way but very quickly that Gor chatroom is as strict and unfriendly as Gor reality would be.

Respect is earned. Respect yourself and respect others – hopefully you will be respected in return. Be courteous to all – if you are not – that only reflect badly on you.

[JakBird]

My own take on the capitalization rules tends toward the live and let live. In chat rooms where the only means to communicate is text, then sure, it's a way to convey the equivalent of voice tone or body language. In a story, no, except in unusual circumstances (dialog, quotes from online typing, etc.).

Over the years I've come to appreciate the importance of structure to a submissive personality, even though I must confess I do not entirely understand it on a visceral level. I never criticize anyone for using the convention online, for just that reason. If it is The Way It Must Be Done, then so be it.

I never have seen the reason behind using medieval titles for nicknames. LordSlackjaw and SirStumblebum don't have positive connotations for me, since hereditary titles usually carry the baggage of genetic defects from far too much inbreeding. But to each their own. I settle for being called anything printable and repeatable.

Respect garnered by demand has a very short lifetime. I've found willing obedience to be far more valuable than the forced variety. Taking shortcuts may be tempting for the lazy, but in my experience making the investment in time with a low profile, non-threatening approach will draw out natural submissive traits that I can ruthlessly exploit (okay, I'm dreaming here, but hope springs eternal).

[Pandora's Box]

That is actually one of the reasons I posted this. There IS a particular protocol that seems to be expected over the net that doesn't seem to really be in place in the real world and I wondered what people thought about Doms and Masters "demanding" respect from the moment they meet you when in real life it seems (though, I could be wrong because my dealings with other Doms/Masters other than my own are limited as I am not very active in the "community" any further than going to PE clubs once in awhile) that Doms and other people's Masters prefer to earn your respect rather than have it given to them.

D, I'd venture to say that any dominant that demands respect from the get go is indeed not respecting others, nor methods of human social interaction. Basically, I have yet to meet one of these dominants that wasn't selfish, unstable or socially inept.

When I first came into the world of bdsm I ran into a lot of these so called dominants. It took me a bit to realize that while they may title themselves a dominant, they lack understanding of some of the basics tenets of domination. Most of them want all the rights with none of the responsibilities. But there are a lot of people like that.