The Autobiography of Sheepish Rocky
By Sheepish Rocky
Translated by Shannon Cole (Jainasolo/sheepishone)


I cannot say how I came to be trapped alone on that island. My memories before that day are muddled and hazy. I don’t think that I was on the island alone for very long before “they” came, but I remember feeling lonely.

“They” showed up in droves. These were creatures that walked on two hooves, only their hooves were softer, longer. I later learned that they were called feet, and they were humans, but called themselves pirates. They were missing their wool, and covered this deficiency by wearing, what I thought at the time, large and brightly colored animal skins, which were unlike anything I had ever seen before. Of course, through time I learned that these “skins” were called clothes, and that these humans would arrive at the island wearing tattered clothes, and leave dressed elaborately as they acquired wealth.

Their ways confused me, but none the less, I was lonely and decided to be friendly towards them. I would walk over to them and shyly stand behind them whilst they spoke to one another. They often accused me of “sniffing” their butts. I assure you, I was doing no such thing. I have no interest in sniffing anyone’s butts, let alone theirs.

For the most part, they ignored me. I kept hearing them say “Sheepish Rocky” or “Rocky” and being the intelligent sheep that I am, quickly figured out that they had named me Rocky. It was as good a name as any, for I had figured out much earlier that they did not understand my own language. They merely thought it was “cute” when I tried speaking to them.

Months passed by. Occasionally one of the pirates, as I now thought of them, would pay me some notice. During these months as I wandered the island, I noticed that it had begun to change. Structures were erected over the finest fields. The soft grass was replaced by hard stones and my favorite trees to sleep under vanished. The pirates were slowly shaping the land, my land, to fit their own needs. They did not care about me or my island, and I grew lonely and depressed.

I found that the wooden boards of the docks were easier on my hooves and started spending most of my time there. I would watch and listen to the pirates as they came and went. I wondered how they were able to get off of the island when I could not. It was many months before I learned that these pirates had vessels which could sail the seas.

Then one day she washed up on the docks. Her clothes were torn and tattered and she stumbled around aimlessly for a while. I went over to say hello, and to my surprise, she spoke to me! She didn’t understand me when I spoke, though I understood her. She introduced herself as Jaina Solo.

She was different from the other pirates wandering around. She paid attention to me and often had delicious treats hidden away in the folds of her clothes. She quickly fit in with the other pirates on the island, but would stop by daily to see me, and quickly learned that I love having behind my ears scratched.

I spent many a morning at her side on the docks as she chatted with the other pirates. Some days she would lay by the edge of the docks and doze in the warm sun. She never minded when I would nuzzle against her and doze with her. Jaina quickly became my first real friend on the island. She would proudly tell the other pirates that I was hers and if any of them ever so much as harmed me that they would taste the sting of her sword. Many times she was laughed at, and some pirate would insult me. Every time she would pull out a sword and quickly defeat those who dared speak badly of her or me.

The months stretched into years. Jaina slowly, but eventually learned how to speak my language. I was constantly blown away by her kindness and willingness to be my friend. She started to tell me tales of the other sheep she had encountered on her adventures. I loved Jaina, and still do, but I longed to meet some of these other sheep that she spoke of. There were some things that I longed to do, which only a female sheep would satisfy, if you catch my drift.

Jaina spoke of one sheep in particular, a young sheep by the name of Sheepish Adrian. She spoke highly of this sheep, saying that if she could find a way to introduce the two of us, she would in a heart beat.

I remember the afternoon clearly. I had just bitten some foul mouthed young pirate in the butt when Jaina came running over to me. She was overly excited and had to repeat herself several times before I was able to understand her. She’d found a way to introduce me to Adrian ! My heart soared as though never before and I pranced around the docks, running over to everyone there, shouting out my joy.

Jaina slipped something around my neck when I finally calmed down. She explained that it was a collar, which would identify herself as my owner. I didn’t understand, but complied when she told me that it was the only way she would be able to get me aboard a ship to take me to meet Adrian .

She had me follow her to a small ship docked near one of the quiet alcoves of the island. Jaina proudly showed me the name of the ship, explaining that she had named the ship in my honor. We boarded the Sheepish Rockfish and Jaina set sail. I could not tell you how long the voyage took. I learned a new term that day, seasick. I spent the entire time curled up at Jaina’s feet feeling as though my stomach were about to turn itself inside out.

The afternoon had just turned to dusk when the ship stopped moving. Jaina gently woke me up and explained that we were now ported at her home island of Jorvik . I was able to Bah weakly once before passing out.

I awoke to find myself resting on a most comfortable grassy area. Jaina told me later that she had carried me up to her house and left me there, the area being the garden of her home. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw her for the first time.

She was asleep, but I could see her perfectly in the moonlight. Her wool was the most beautiful fawn colored, her nose the palest of grays. At first I looked around in a panic for Jaina, and when I could not find her, I stood there watching the beautiful Adrian sleep. I was unsure of what to do next. Here I was, a few feet away from another sheep, a female sheep, a very lovely female sheep, and I had no idea what to do.

When Jaina first heard about what I did next, she burst out laughing and muttered something about “men.” I had gone over to Adrian and did the first thing that came to my mind. I bent down and nipped at her neck. Adrian woke up with a loud Bah and began to curse at me in Sheepish. Her angry words were lost on me however. I was too busy staring into her lovely hazel eyes and didn’t say a single thing in reply.

Adrian realized pretty quickly that I was not paying attention and blushed. Have you ever seen a lady sheep blush? It’s the most attractive thing I have ever seen. She shyly looked away from me and asked my name. I responded to her with my name in Sheepish, and then told her that she could simply call me “Rocky.” We stayed up the rest of the night talking, learning each other’s stories.

The next day, I managed to nose my way into the main house, where I found Jaina changing her clothes. She’d jumped in surprised, but relaxed when she saw it was me. Let me tell you though, humans sure do look funny naked! I asked advice on courting Adrian . She told me to just be my wonderful sheepish self and that fate would take over from there.

As I found my way back out to the garden I thought about all of the male humans I had seen Jaina talking to. Many of them were macho type men who were very commanding and serious. I decided that I should be like them, and so, when I entered the garden and saw Adrian , I shouted out, “Yo Adrian!”

If a blushing lady sheep is the most attractive thing, a blushing male sheep must be the equivalent of a clown or a court jester. Adrian burst out into such a laughing fit that she was crying. Macho clearly wasn’t my style. As Adrian lay on the grass laughing, I ran over and started nosing her sides, tickling her. She laughed harder and when I stopped, looked at me with a fire burning in her eyes.

She whispered softly and asked me not to stop. No, she didn’t ask, she begged. I’m not sure if it was lust or love, or just male instinct, but I gave into her wishes. I won’t bore you with all of the details; Adrian would probably kill me if I did anyway, but it was the most wonderful moment of my life.

When all was done, I curled up next to Adrian and beamed seeing the satisfied look on her serene face.

Jaina of course knew exactly what had happened without me saying a word. She commented on me swaggering around the house like a prized stud. If she weren’t such a close friend, I might have been tempted to bite her.

That was several months ago. Adrian and I live with Jaina, and several other sheep that she has found and given a home to. I still enjoy going out sailing and exploring with Jaina, especially now that I don’t get seasick, but returning home to Adrian is the highlight of my day.

I learned a few days ago that Adrian is expecting our first lamb. Jaina will probably kill me, or at the very least shear off all my wool when she translates this last portion. If our lamb is a male, he’ll be named after the other love of my life. Sheepish Qmoq has a lovely ring to it, don’t you think?