Quote Originally Posted by sugeneg
Thanks for the input everyone. A lot of what everyone has said really does apply to me. I am not ruling out anyone, even someone who has no interest in BDSM. If I am attracted to someone and like them as a person I won't just push them to one side saying not a submissive, so no good to me.

Maybe I should not use the word true. I really have no idea to explain what I mean though. How about lifestyle submissive, 24/7 submissive? Really just meaning someone who is submissive, not just playing submissive, trying out some roleplay to have some fun. Should I simply say submissive and leave it at that?

The search continues...
Hi All,

I am entering into this thread a bit late, but I wondered if it might help to have the opinions/experiences of someone who might be considered to be a 'true' submissive - i.e. me!

When I met my first 'owner', I was 17 and knew that I had a masochistic streak and that I preferred rather older and very much more powerful men. But I had no idea that I was a submissive nor that BDSM would figure in my life. Equally he had no idea of what sort of person I was when we first met although it didn't take him long to guess. For some time we were just boyfriend and girlfriend but things developed and, as they say, the rest is history.

Since we parted when I was 20, a friendly but sad parting of the ways, I have only had one person in my life, my current owner who was an experienced Dominant and knew exactly what sort of person I was from the word go. Over three and a half years later, I still adore him and worship the ground he walks on - if that sounds corny and over the top, so be it; it is how I view him and I consider myself SO lucky to be his submissive.

So that's my D/s history and from it emerges my belief that 'finding' a subbie is purely a matter of chance, aided by good insight into the female psyche plus patience and tact. Most subs who enter into the BDSM world haven't a clue of what they are initially; that knowledge gradually emerges with the help of a boyfriend who is a natural Dom and who doesn't want to go from vanilla snogging to BIG TIME BDSM in one night.

As for 'the scene', I have never felt any inclination to join it and my closest subbie friend feels the same way. We are both happy with our masters/owners and don't feel the need to exhibit our private world to others in such a way. So I can't pass judgement on clubs etc., as I have very very little experience of them. Chacun a son gout. If it's your bag enjoy it, but it's not for me (with my owner agreement, naturally! LOL).

I know that what I have said won't provide the key to finding a subbie, but I think we are a species who need nurturing individually by dominant males (or female), and we're not something that can be found on supermarket shelves. Happenstance and good judgement (on the Dom's part) will play a part in any link up and the formation of a great D/s partnership. But Hey! isn't that just the same as any long lasting relationship - "From small acorns great oak trees grow.............."

Good luck and good hunting; I am sure the perfect girl for you is out there somewhere - it's just a matter of not getting discouraged, and being patient and not rushing things when you do think she has sailed over the horizon.

Love, Jane.

PS. Please excuse the sometimes inappropriate metaphors...........