Thanks Lucy

However... this was big. I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. I don't know how quickly I'll be able to get back on the horse this time.

He had no right to induce these thoughts and feelings within me if he was going to walk away without a word.

I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel abandoned. I look at the poems and other things he sent me and can't believe what the reality is in front of me. Nothing matches up and nothing makes sense. My intuitions are confused. And so am I.