First off, be careful of looking for a "true" submissive. You're likely to get charged by the hour.

The term "tue" is a bit misleading in BDSM, since even the oldest and boldest of us are still learning what it is we're doing. However, the learning is the fun part.


For me, I started reading about BDSM many years ago, but never really had a real BDSM relationship until I met my current wife and submissive. My relationships to that point had BDSM elements, but they were more like experiments to see what worked for me. Once I knew what I was looking for, it didn't take too long to find someone that was willing to play along with me and learn from me.

The ride since then has been an interesting one, but we're still together and still learning.


From the time I met my submissive in a chat room to the time she showed up on my doorstep was about seven months. We spent a long time online getting to know one another before we decided to make the move to real life. We wanted to be sure that we knew what we were getting ourselves into before we made that move.

And don't think that things like geography and culture should keep you apart. At the time I met my submissive I was living in Texas and she was in Alberta, Canada. We were seperated by an international border and 2000 miles, but we're still making it work for us.

So, hang in there, kick back, meet some people and get to know the people around you. You never know which of them might be the one you've always been looking for.