Valkryie I only used "true submissive" as a way to explain really what I was looking for. I have known girls who were submissive, and they would do what you told them to every time, but only during sex or BDSM scenes and in general day to day living they would be as controlling as the next girl (sorry if that sounds sexist). Those I termed "scene submissives". Just some terms I came up with to write the post to try and explain my feelings.

I know that novices can blossom over time and this was one of my experiences. However she blossomed into a true painslut, so I at least furthered her self-knowledge there, but was still no more submissive outside of scenes. So what do you call them: semi-submissives/part-time submissives? I really don't know.

I guess part of the frustration comes from there being no clubs or public outlets where people can get together and meet. Where I am it seems totally random. The process would be:

First I have to meet a girl.
Then that girl has to be at least somewhat interested in BDSM.
Then she has to be a willing submissive, not just a tourist.
Then she has to be truly submissive.
Also she has to share my interests.

I don't want a sub just because she is submissive. I have to actually like her as a person as well. I'm not looking for a simple sexual slave but someone to share my life, outisde BDSM as well.

So the odds get smaller and smaller the further down the list you go. Does this all sound whiney? I hope not as it's not intended that way.

"I believe that a BDSM relationship is a relationship first. Find someone with common interests, someone who's time you enjoy sharing and move from there."

I've also done that and you would be surprised, or maybe not, how many people actually find BDSM either disturbing or sick . I've tried having girlfriends who have stated they have no interest in even trying anything remotely BDSM related but it's just like living a lie. I have feelings for them but feel it's not fair to them or myself to continue into a deeper relationship when my heart's desire is elsewhere.

I am still pretty much open to all possibilities. I have not closed myself off to everything but the perfect submissive.

So to bring it back on track, hopefully, how long did it take everyone to find their partner? Were you looking for a long time or did they just drop from the sky?

Jason